• “Hi, I’d like one (man) to go, please!” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 10

    June 8, 2018

    Hi Everyone!

    So, we are starting to wrap up my online dating chronicles. If you’ve missed previous installments, click below!

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

    Part 5: How You Doin’?

    Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

    Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

    Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

    Part 9: Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone?

    I’m not going to rate the different sites because it really depends on what you’re looking for when you use the apps. But, here are some thoughts on each of the dating sites/apps:

    Tinder- most likely looking for a hookup, probably only a handful that are looking to meet someone to date long-term.

    Bumble- similar to Tinder, but since it’s up to the girl to message first, not the best site for introverts or traditional girls who want guys to make the first move. I didn’t try the networking part of the app, but I did try the Friends version and sort of chatted with a few ladies, but didn’t make any new girlfriends.

    POF- You are going to get messaged by a lot of creeps because you don’t have to swipe right on a guy for them to message you. Unless your settings are very restrictive so that only Upgraded members can message you, you will get gross and creepy messages. Then again, upgraded members can be just as bad as the rest. Be careful of catfish, use Google Reverse Image Search, it will be your best friend. It doesn’t pick up pictures if they were taken from an Instagram account, but at least you can find out if he took a stock image somewhere or if he’s using some famous guy’s pics.

    OK Cupid- You’re probably using this because you’re a little more serious about meeting someone special (not just for a hookup). I guess the matching can help to find out if a potential match has the same values and thinks the same way you do. I didn’t really like the part where you choose from a drop-down menu to fill out your bio. I didn’t really like that if someone messaged you, you’d only see it when you come across their profile. Sometimes I missed the messages and then there’s no inbox to read them again.

    Coffee Meets Bagel- Like I said in the previous post, you probably use this app if you’re a business professional and don’t have a lot of time to swipe through all the guys in your city. It helps narrow down the field for you and it lets you see who is already interested in getting to know you better.

    I think if I had to choose the one dating app that I would use again, it would be Bumble. It has a slight edge over Tinder because I like the fact that the girl is the one who has to message first. Since you only have 24 hours to message them after matching and they have 24 hours to reply after you messaged them, then both parties are obviously interested if he replies. On Tinder, I got a few messages 2-3 days after matching with someone) and by that time, I was like meh, whatever (I already assumed he lost interest). I also liked that you could shake your phone and bring back a guy if you accidentally swiped left on him. Once your thumb gets into the motion of swiping left, you go faster and faster and sometimes you make a mistake.

    I had a fun time trying out all the different apps and now I know which apps to try out if going out in the real world and trying to meet someone doesn’t work. So, although there were some sparks on Tinder, they fizzled out. I did NOT find the drone to my Queen Bee on Bumble, my lobster on POF, my everything bagel on Coffee Meets Bagel and Cupid must’ve missed when he shot his arrow on OK Cupid. Actually, everything bagel isn’t the best way to describe a potential boyfriend. I don’t even like everything bagels that much. I prefer Cheddar Herb bagels from Great Canadian bagels. I used to get them all the time in high school before they closed their store. Now, there are only a handful of locations and they all close pretty early…no wonder I’m still single. It’s so hard for me to find a BAGEL, never mind a BOYFRIEND. I do eat other bagels though, I’m not just always waiting around to get my cheddar herb bagel. I guess it’s a good analogy for dating; I need to try all these poppyseed, sesame, plain bagels (go on dates) to find that cheddar herb bagel out there.

    If only there were some dating site where you go up to a counter and say,

    Hi, one (man) to go, please. Between 5’7″ (so I can wear heels and he’ll still be taller) and 6″ (so he’s not too tall when I’m wearing flats). Enjoys watching movies and shows. Housebroken, wants children, non-smoker, doesn’t do drugs, and has all of the following *lists more characteristics and values*

    Oh, and it would be a plus if he could pull off different looks: plain tee and jeans, a suit, leather jacket and if he looked good in aviators/wayfarer sunglasses, oh la la!! 😉

    It’s not like I expect to marry the next guy I date, but it’s better if anyone I date wants children or is open to having children in the future. Why waste time dating someone who doesn’t want something you know you want? Even if he’s perfect in every other way, if there’s a non-negotiable, then why advance the relationship further?

    In the last two installments of these dating chronicles, I’m going to share some of the funny thoughts I had while swiping and also give out some pointers (to the guys). Have a great weekend!

    Click here for Part 11

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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  • “How You Doin’?” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 5

    May 22, 2018

    Hi Everyone!

    I’m back with another installment of my online dating chronicles!

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

    Even though I was on Tinder and Bumble for two weeks and POF for only one, I obviously got more messages on POF because you don’t need to match to get a message. Like I said in Part 4, I had it set so that Males in Canada (aged 23-35) could message me. I received several messages as I was setting up my profile. I wrote a more lengthy ‘About Me’ and came up with a headline (a sentence to get people to click on your profile).

    On a dating site set up like POF where anyone can message you (unless you have restrictions on your mail settings), you’ll obviously get a variety of messages: creepy ones, gross ones, funny ones, nice ones, sweet ones, etc.

    I wrote that I loved action movies, liked burgers and that I’m probably one of the few girls who would prefer to be given food instead of flowers. A lot of the guys that messaged me were excited to find a girl who liked action movies. One said he had never met a girl who liked the Lord of the Rings trilogy and would never even consider watching the extended versions. I told him he wasn’t meeting the right girls lol. A few made a joke that they’d bring me a bouquet of burgers. It was cute when the first guy messaged me saying that, but then when several others said the same thing, it obviously wasn’t as funny/original.

    There were a few lines that seemed original and were pretty funny, but I don’t want to ruin it for the guy if that’s his pick-up line for every girl he messages. Here are some of the funny/cheesy ones that aren’t exactly original (these are verbatim, so excuse the grammar and/or wording):

    • Can I follow you? My mom told me to always follow my dreams.
    • Excuse me, Mademoiselle, could you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in your eyes…
    • There’s a strange feel in my stomach either I’m hungry or I’m in love and the only way to find out by asking you for lunch

    One guy wrote ‘looking for committed girlfriend’ in his About Me. I laughed at it because it should probably say ‘committed relationship’ or ‘serious girlfriend.’ A ‘committed girlfriend’ makes me think he wants a girl from a psychiatric hospital. Another guy wrote that he liked my profile and I “sound like a really ‘cool girl’ if you know what I mean.” Why was ‘cool girl’ in quotes and why did he write ‘if you know what I mean?’ Well, I didn’t know what he meant, so I asked him and he said that he thought I sounded cool. I have no idea why he put it in quotes and said ‘if you know what I mean’…He could’ve just said “You sound like a cool girl.” *shrugs* moving on…

    I got a few messages that I should’ve probably felt offended, but was flattered. One guy messaged me saying, “Hey, would you ever consider playing on cam for $? No offense intended.” It was gross, but I felt flattered that he wrote it. Another guy messaged me calling me a catfish and I messaged him back saying that I was real and he said he didn’t mean any offense by it. I felt flattered that he thought I would be a catfish. Either he liked my bio and thought it sounded good or liked my pics. Another guy, we’ll call him Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow. He said, “Reallyyy Jennifer? Your profile seems TOO good to be true so I think you should respond to me vs. the other 500 messages so that at least I can verify that you are real :p” I replied and we exchanged a few messages. He was a perfect gentleman and it proved to me that there are nice, not creepy, normal guys on POF- you just have to weed out the ones that are creeps and jerks.

    After a few days, I decided to get rid of the age limitations and allow any age to message me. I wanted to see if guys a lot younger/older would message me. I waited until I received 1000 messages so I could get a proper sample size. The majority were closest to my age with a few here and there that were a lot younger or older. A few of the men had listed their age as 25 or something and then they’d put it in their About Me or in their first message that they were actually 40 or something. I assume it’s because most girls will probably set their age restrictions close to the age they are.

    Capture.PNG

    Using the 1000 messages, I took the time to sort the messages into two different categories. Based on approximate percentages, this was the break-down:

    • 70% would say Hi, Hello, What’s Up, make a comment about my appearance (smile, eyes, attractiveness) or use a pick-up line
    • 30% would make a direct reference to something in my About Me section or comment on one of my secondary pictures (proving that they looked at my other pictures and didn’t just message me after seeing the first one)

    It was alarming how many of the guys wrote ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re.’ *face palm* It was flattering to get messages saying that I’m beautiful, but if you spelled it ‘your,’ it just made me cringe.

    I am a fan of Friends (if that wasn’t evident by two of the titles for this blog series), so I thought it would be funny to write this in my bio:

    tumblr_lxbavwX1Lk1r0xbido3_250.gif

    Wanted: …non-smoker, non-ugly. ← If you know what that’s from, make a reference to the show 🙂

    I wasn’t sure if everyone would get the reference, so I made it clear that it’s from a show and that I wasn’t the one saying it.

    Here were some of the first messages I got:

    • *looks down and up* How you doin’?
    • “Could that BE any more obvious” jk lool (in chandlers voice in case that made no sense xD)
    • “Could I be wearing any more clothes???”

    Click here for Part 6!

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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