• “Hi, I’d like one (man) to go, please!” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 10

    June 8, 2018

    Hi Everyone!

    So, we are starting to wrap up my online dating chronicles. If you’ve missed previous installments, click below!

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

    Part 5: How You Doin’?

    Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

    Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

    Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

    Part 9: Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone?

    I’m not going to rate the different sites because it really depends on what you’re looking for when you use the apps. But, here are some thoughts on each of the dating sites/apps:

    Tinder- most likely looking for a hookup, probably only a handful that are looking to meet someone to date long-term.

    Bumble- similar to Tinder, but since it’s up to the girl to message first, not the best site for introverts or traditional girls who want guys to make the first move. I didn’t try the networking part of the app, but I did try the Friends version and sort of chatted with a few ladies, but didn’t make any new girlfriends.

    POF- You are going to get messaged by a lot of creeps because you don’t have to swipe right on a guy for them to message you. Unless your settings are very restrictive so that only Upgraded members can message you, you will get gross and creepy messages. Then again, upgraded members can be just as bad as the rest. Be careful of catfish, use Google Reverse Image Search, it will be your best friend. It doesn’t pick up pictures if they were taken from an Instagram account, but at least you can find out if he took a stock image somewhere or if he’s using some famous guy’s pics.

    OK Cupid- You’re probably using this because you’re a little more serious about meeting someone special (not just for a hookup). I guess the matching can help to find out if a potential match has the same values and thinks the same way you do. I didn’t really like the part where you choose from a drop-down menu to fill out your bio. I didn’t really like that if someone messaged you, you’d only see it when you come across their profile. Sometimes I missed the messages and then there’s no inbox to read them again.

    Coffee Meets Bagel- Like I said in the previous post, you probably use this app if you’re a business professional and don’t have a lot of time to swipe through all the guys in your city. It helps narrow down the field for you and it lets you see who is already interested in getting to know you better.

    I think if I had to choose the one dating app that I would use again, it would be Bumble. It has a slight edge over Tinder because I like the fact that the girl is the one who has to message first. Since you only have 24 hours to message them after matching and they have 24 hours to reply after you messaged them, then both parties are obviously interested if he replies. On Tinder, I got a few messages 2-3 days after matching with someone) and by that time, I was like meh, whatever (I already assumed he lost interest). I also liked that you could shake your phone and bring back a guy if you accidentally swiped left on him. Once your thumb gets into the motion of swiping left, you go faster and faster and sometimes you make a mistake.

    I had a fun time trying out all the different apps and now I know which apps to try out if going out in the real world and trying to meet someone doesn’t work. So, although there were some sparks on Tinder, they fizzled out. I did NOT find the drone to my Queen Bee on Bumble, my lobster on POF, my everything bagel on Coffee Meets Bagel and Cupid must’ve missed when he shot his arrow on OK Cupid. Actually, everything bagel isn’t the best way to describe a potential boyfriend. I don’t even like everything bagels that much. I prefer Cheddar Herb bagels from Great Canadian bagels. I used to get them all the time in high school before they closed their store. Now, there are only a handful of locations and they all close pretty early…no wonder I’m still single. It’s so hard for me to find a BAGEL, never mind a BOYFRIEND. I do eat other bagels though, I’m not just always waiting around to get my cheddar herb bagel. I guess it’s a good analogy for dating; I need to try all these poppyseed, sesame, plain bagels (go on dates) to find that cheddar herb bagel out there.

    If only there were some dating site where you go up to a counter and say,

    Hi, one (man) to go, please. Between 5’7″ (so I can wear heels and he’ll still be taller) and 6″ (so he’s not too tall when I’m wearing flats). Enjoys watching movies and shows. Housebroken, wants children, non-smoker, doesn’t do drugs, and has all of the following *lists more characteristics and values*

    Oh, and it would be a plus if he could pull off different looks: plain tee and jeans, a suit, leather jacket and if he looked good in aviators/wayfarer sunglasses, oh la la!! 😉

    It’s not like I expect to marry the next guy I date, but it’s better if anyone I date wants children or is open to having children in the future. Why waste time dating someone who doesn’t want something you know you want? Even if he’s perfect in every other way, if there’s a non-negotiable, then why advance the relationship further?

    In the last two installments of these dating chronicles, I’m going to share some of the funny thoughts I had while swiping and also give out some pointers (to the guys). Have a great weekend!

    Click here for Part 11

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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  • Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone? | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 9

    June 5, 2018

    Hi Everyone!

    Here’s the next installment of my online dating chronicles. If you missed any of the previous parts, click the link(s) below!

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

    Part 5: How You Doin’?

    Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

    Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

    Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

    Today, I’ll be writing about how the apps Coffee Meets Bagel and OK Cupid work. So, it’s more of an informational post again like Part 4 was for POF. Both apps had a similar setup where you complete a sentence for your profile. For example, Coffee Meets Bagel said “I appreciate when my date…” and you choose to fill it out. A few guys wrote that they appreciate when their date puts down the phone. I find this sad that they have to say that. I think what most people mean when they say to put the phone away is don’t scroll through Instagram or constantly be checking your phone for texts from your friends to tell them how the date is going. But, out of respect, even when I’m with friends, I rarely have my phone out. Of course, this can be a bad thing too. One time I went to a late movie after work with a friend and we grabbed bubble tea after the movie (which I told my parents, but I guess they didn’t hear me). My parents got worried when I wasn’t replying to their texts and wasn’t home by midnight (I had work early the next day and I was planning to make holiday cookies for my coworkers, so they expected I would be home at a reasonable time). Note to self- get verbal confirmation from parents that they know what’s happening and maybe just check my phone and send a text once it gets late.

    Coffee Meets Bagel

    I thought this was a funny name. They chose the name because grabbing coffee is an easy first date and then ‘bagel’ because they launched the app in New York. Surprisingly, I came across one of my classmates’ older brothers on the app. I was only on the site for a day so that I could get matches, just to see how it worked.

    Coffee Meets Bagel was kind of interesting because you fill out info like you do on Tinder. If you’re a female seeking a male, every day at 12pm, you are sent your ‘daily bagels.’ The daily bagels are guys who have liked you. So, it’s similar to having the paid version of the other apps. It shows you who already likes you and you can decide whether you like them back and if you do, they can message you. So, in a way, Coffee Meets Bagel is a mix of several apps because the girl (like Bumble) is the one to make the decision whether the guy can message you or not. It’s like if you were swiping on Tinder, and you were only shown profiles of the guys who already liked you. The one difference for Coffee Meets Bagel is that you are only shown a handful (about 10 or so?) of guys.

    Each day at noon, guys will receive up to 21 quality matches – known as “Bagels”. They are given the option to either LIKE or PASS. Then, Coffee Meets Bagel will curate the best potential matches for women among the men who expressed interest.

    Women will choose who gets to talk to them among quality men who already liked them. That’s right. No more guessing games!

    Users also earn or can pay for coffee beans, which unlock special features like finding out who the mutual friends of your match (when connected to Facebook) are or giving a match a second chance.

    It almost felt like this app was more for professionals. The ones who work a lot and don’t have a lot of downtime to swipe through tons of people.

    OK Cupid

    For OK Cupid, it was similar to POF where you fill out your info (you choose which ones you want to fill out):

    • Sexual Orientation
    • Gender
    • Height
    • Build (Body type)
    • Ethnicity
    • School
    • Religion
    • Whether you smoke, drink or do drugs
    • If you eat meat or not (i.e. Omnivore)
    • whether you have kids/if you want them
    • Horoscope Sign

    You can also say if you speak a second language and choose whether religion is important.

    Then, you fill out a self-summary (bio) and you can choose a selection of drop-down questions to fill out. You know when you have to choose from a drop-down list of questions when you’re filling out security questions for the bank or something and there’s a few choices for each question? That’s how OK Cupid is set up. Some of the questions include:

    • What I’m doing with my life
    • Favourite book, tv show, movie, music, food
    • You should message me if…
    • I’m really good at…
    • The first thing people notice about me is…
    • I spend a lot of time thinking about…

    In addition to filling these questions out (whether you choose to or not), you are given a series of questions on different topics and based on your answers, you are matched with people based on whether they answered the questions in the same way. You get a match percentage and an enemy percentage. The enemy percentage is based on how you answered the questions and if they answered slightly different, then your enemy percentage goes up. It doesn’t base the match percentage on your interests, it bases it on how you answered a series of questions that ask you about dating, sex, ethics, politics, etc. I didn’t know this when I signed up, I thought matches were based on interests, but it’s based on the series of questions you answer.

    You are asked a question and then you choose what answers you would accept from a potential match. Then, you choose the importance of the question.

    • Do spelling mistakes annoy you?
      • Yes
      • No
    • Answer I’ll accept:
      • Yes
      • No
    • Importance
      • A little
      • Somewhat
      • Very

    If you chose both ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ for ‘answers I’ll accept,’ they mark it as irrelevant and don’t count it in your questionnaire. So, if you chose that spelling mistakes do annoy you and then a potential match said no, then your enemy percentage goes up.

    Luckily, you can look at how you both answered the questions to see which questions your answers were different. This is useful because you can see which answers matter to you.

    They even had some logic questions like whether the Earth or Sun is bigger and “Half of all policemen are thieves and half are murderers. Does it follow logically that all policemen are criminals?” This type of question is called a syllogism (which I just found out). “A syllogism is a kind of logical argument that applies deductive reasoning to arrive at a conclusion based on two or more propositions that are asserted or assumed to be true.” It reminded me of Orphan Black when they ask the Castors and Helena those questions.

    All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion: All mangoes are cheap…

    Helena: Where are these mangoes?… I would like to see these mangoes.

    tumblr_nndnssV0gD1sq5msto3_250.gif

    Haha, gotta love Helena. Always thinking about food. Same, girl.

    I feel like OK Cupid is more for people looking for a long-term relationship and you can see if your values and way of thinking is similar by using the questionnaire.

    For the last installments of this blog series, I’m going to share my final thoughts on online dating. I’ll let you know which apps to join depending on what you’re looking for, and offer some tips to the guys out there on what would make me swipe right. Also, I’ll share some of the reactions I had while swiping.

    Click here for Part 10

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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  • It started one night at a bar named ‘Darling’… | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 1

    May 8, 2018

    Hi Everyone!

    Today, I’m introducing a new blog series on Dating! I haven’t dated much, so it may seem weird that I would start a blog series on dating. I obviously can’t offer a lot of advice, but I recently decided to take the plunge and try online dating apps. So, I thought why not share my experiences and thoughts on online dating apps!

    I’d like to mention that when I first started, I was kind of just having fun with it and then thought, ‘hey, this would be a good blog post or series!’ and then it spiraled from there. I decided to try more apps, do research and watch YouTube videos.

    I tried five different apps just to see what each was like and how they were different. For each dating app, I’ll briefly tell you how it works, what type of info you share/fill in for the site, and what it was like. I’ll even share some of the funny messages I received. After I write about the different apps, I’ll let you know which ones were my faves to use, some advice for the men on what would make me swipe right or message back.

    The five apps I tried are:

    • Tinder (for 2 weeks)
    • Bumble (for 2 weeks)
    • Plenty of Fish (for 1 week)
    • OK Cupid (for 2 days)
    • Coffee Meets Bagel (for 1 day)

    For OK Cupid and Coffee Meets Bagel, I just wanted to see how the process worked and how the set up was, so that’s the reason that I was only on for a day or two.

    I’ve always wondered what it’s like on dating apps. Nowadays, it’s the norm to meet people on dating apps. In real life, there’s rarely a chance for a meet-cute (but every girl still dreams of the possibility). So, here’s the quick story of how I decided to join the first dating app:

    Logo-Tinder.svg.png

    A few of my other friends have used/use Tinder. So, when BM, KN and I went to Montreal (check out my blog posts on the food in Montreal), BM told me she was trying out Tinder for fun and I was like “I should try it.” Both of them agreed I should download the app…I didn’t. The next night, we went out for drinks at a bar named Darling and I had a few too many. KN said I should download the app and I said I would. She said “I don’t see you taking out your phone!” Maybe it was the red wine we drank before we left or the whiskey in the Supernova, but I whipped out my phone and downloaded the app. We also asked KN’s friend’s boyfriend what would make him swipe right on a girl. I handed them my phone and let them set it up for me. They wrote a short bio and started swiping. Apparently they swiped right on a bunch just to get some matches. They drunkenly exchanged a few messages with some of the matches.

    Once I got my phone back, I started swiping for the rest of our trip. Since we were in Montreal, I didn’t swipe right on any guys because why bother when I’m leaving in a day? I was just having fun looking through photos and reading bios. Once I got home, I planned to swipe right on a bunch of guys to gather some stats because I had all these ideas for the blog series.

    Click here to read Part 2! Find out if there were any sparks on Tinder!

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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