• Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy! | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 7

    Hi Everyone!

    Here’s Part 7 of my online dating chronicles!

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

    Part 5: How You Doin’?

    Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

    A while back, my sister and I were talking about something and she brought up something from Sesame Street. I never watched it when I was a kid, but she did and I was like what are you talking about? So, she found the video and showed me. Since I’m talking about Plenty of FISH, I thought it was funny to include. Ernie catches fish with his special fish call. He doesn’t need a fishing pole to reel in the fish, he just yells, “Heeere, fishy, fishy, fishy!” and they jump right into the boat.

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    A lot of guys had their bio blank and it said to just message them if you want to get to know them. I think you should at least put a few sentences in your bio because then a girl is just messaging you based on her attraction to you and not a mutual interest. You don’t have to put your whole life story, but put a hobby or two just to get a conversation going!

    When I was researching POF, I looked up how many messages (on average) guys get each month. It’s hard to gauge since it depends on attractiveness and what’s in their bio, but I think guys are lucky if they receive 10 messages a month. Not a lot of girls make the first move. I messaged a few first and they replied back, but I may have scared some off by telling them I was doing a blog series on online dating. I wanted to be upfront about it because if there was any spark, I didn’t want them to think I was interested just for the blog post. It was a double-edged sword- if I didn’t tell them, they could possibly find out later on, but if I tell them right away, I scare them off. Oh well, if any of them had been the right guy, it wouldn’t have scared them off.

    If you do message someone first, please make sure autocorrect hasn’t fixed anything. You want to make a good first impression, right? I got one message saying: Hi !!! You seem very amazing 🙂 I really want to kiss you under the stars sometime and hold your jams how’s that sound ? Hahahaha! Hold my jams??? I hope that was supposed to say hands.

    I made first contact with one guy (his pic looked like some webcam pic and he was wearing a button-down shirt and tie). We were messaging back and forth and he asked if I had snapchat because he wanted to show me his body (umm, no thank you). I told him if he’s looking for a hookup, I’m not that type of girl and he said, “well this was a waste of time lol.” You and me both, buddy.

    I caught a lot of fish like Ernie, but I had to throw a lot of them back into the water. I think online dating has its pros and cons. On a site like Plenty of Fish where it lists things like the highest level of education, if you have a car, if you’re ambitious, if you want children, you nitpick more than you might if you had met someone at work or through mutual friends. I found myself looking at profiles and saw that a lot of the guys had high school as their highest level of education. I know that tons of people are successful and didn’t attend college or university, but as someone who was lucky enough to attend and graduate from university, I would prefer to date someone who is also university or college educated. I don’t care whether he has a car or not. I don’t have a license, so taking the subway isn’t a problem. Quite a few of the guys chose Prefer Not to Say or Undecided on having children which is perfectly fine. They don’t want to tell all these random strangers if they want children. If someone chose Does Not Want Children, I instantly exited their profile; I know I want to have children, so why waste each other’s time?

    Another thing is you’re basing your attraction to them based on their physical attractiveness. Some people aren’t photogenic. If you meet someone in person, your attraction to them can grow even if you don’t find them good looking. Maybe they’re funny and there’s that special something about them that makes them attractive. That can’t happen online- you just swipe left or don’t reply to their message if you don’t find them good looking. Unfortunately, I was guilty of doing this and I was more so doing this for research. As my mom said, you should try going out first before you skip to online dating which is true. What are the chances I’m like Rapunzel and my Flynn Rider will just pop up on my doorstep? Probably 0.000001% which means I need to leave the house more often. When our mailman rings the doorbell, I don’t even answer the door, so that percentage is probably even lower. People usually use online dating sites like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid as a last resort. I have to get outside more before I give online dating a real try.

    In the next installment, more from my fishing adventures on Plenty of Fish!

    Click here for Part 8!

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

  • There’s Something Fishy Going On… | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 6

    Hi Everyone!

    I’m back with another installment of my online dating chronicles. If you missed a previous installment, click below!

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

    Part 5: How You Doin’?

    I came across several catfish using pictures of a good looking model, a personal trainer, an actor, and a blogger. Some of the pictures, I have to admit, looked legit because they were blurry or it made sense based on their profession that they would have a professional picture. One guy messaged me and I actually thought his pics were real because he was a personal trainer (or that’s what it said in the Profession). It seemed plausible that the one professionally taken pic could be real and the other two pics he had were taken by him. I did a Google Reverse Image search as I was talking to him and a result came up on one of the pics. He had taken a personal trainer’s pics from his Instagram, I guess? The problem with Google Reverse Image is that Instagram pics don’t show up. I tried doing one of my Instagram pics that I’ve posted and nothing came up. He even mentioned that he wanted to take me out for dinner…what was his plan when I didn’t see the guy from the pics? Swoop in on a girl that’s just been stood up?

    I wonder what reasons lead someone to catfish people? I’ve read stories about women who have been catfished for YEARS. If I was investing that much time in an online relationship, I would make sure he’s who he says he is by asking him to send me an unusual pic, i.e. send me a pic of you holding an apple in your left hand or holding up a sign with a random combo of letters/numbers.

    These are the reasons I can think of that a person would catfish someone:

    • Trying to trick some poor girl that they have something real with who they think is a tall, gorgeous guy
    • Trying to get money
    • For entertainment purposes
    • Trying to get back at someone
    • Practising talking to girls online and getting more confidence
    • “Some men just want to watch the world burn” – haha, sorry, I had to put that quote from Alfred in The Dark Knight!
    • This next one is very unlikely, but I’m sure it’s a possibility- he’s a serial killer and he’s using some guys pics to lure a girl to a restaurant and then when she shows up, he can kidnap her…am I just being paranoid? I think I watch too many crime shows. Thanks a lot, Criminal Minds.

    I found an article saying that POF is the most dangerous dating site in Britain. It may be paranoid, but if you ever meet up with anyone in person, it’s always good to send his/her profile pics and bio to friends and let them know where you’re going and when you’re planning to be home. If the date is going well and you decide to stay out longer with him/her, send a text to your friend to let them know.

    Some of the catfish were quite smart using pics of guys who aren’t too famous. This one guy used Nick Bateman’s pics (actor/model), Serkan Cayoglu’s pics (Turkish actor) and another used Adam Gallagher’s pics (blogger: I AM GALLA). One guy’s pics confused me: he had 2-3 pics of himself (or some guy) and then one of Joe Jonas. The pics below are not necessarily the ones used in the profile pics, but this is what the guys look like:

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    From left: Nick Bateman, Serkan Cayoglu, Adam Gallagher

    I mean…why would any of them be on Plenty of Fish? Even if they were the shy, quiet type, tons of girls would be throwing themselves at them. If they’re looking for a hookup, I think Tinder would be a better app to use since you just swipe through the profiles. On POF, you’d have to go through the profiles and it’s a bit more time-consuming.

    Similar to the swiping dating apps, POF does have that “Meet Me” feature where it’s similar to Tinder and you swipe ‘yes’ or ‘no’ if you want to meet someone. There’s four options: No, Maybe, Yes and Super Yes. Super Yes is like the Superlike or Daily Extend. It’s dumb though because if you choose ‘maybe,’ you would think it puts those guys onto a list for you and you can review them later. It doesn’t. It counts it as a ‘yes,’ so if you said maybe and the guy said yes/maybe, you get matched up. Like Tinder, there’s a tab (Mutual Match) that has a list of the people you matched with. The only problem with it is that you need to have an upgraded account to see the people who do want to Meet You. In your notifications, you can see a small thumbnail of their profile pic so you can keep an eye out when you’re swiping, but it’s not the best.

    Another feature is the “Favorites” where someone can favourite your profile. It’s kind of funny because you can unfavourite yourself from their list. In a few guys’ bios, they wrote that if they ‘favourite’ you, it’s because he’s used his daily number of messages and can’t message you when he comes across your profile. I found out that there’s a daily limit to the number of first messages you can send in 24 hours. You can only send 55 first messages a day- if you’ve already messaged someone, there’s no limit. It’s only the first contact that is included in the 55.

    In no way am I trying to brag and say, “This many men want to meet me or I got messaged by this number.” I want to let you know as a reference (and I’m rounding the numbers). By the time the 1000 men messaged me, it said that 2600 wanted to Meet Me. Percentage-wise, a third of the guys messaged me and it’s unknown how many of the 2600 were ones who also messaged me. So, what I’m saying is if you are on POF and you are interested in someone, then message them! The worst that can happen is they don’t reply or maybe block you, but you can still message 54 other people and one of them is bound to reply!

    That’s all I have for today’s post. Thanks for reading and be sure to check out Part 7 on Tuesday!

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.