• “How You Doin’?” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 5

    May 22, 2018

    Hi Everyone!

    I’m back with another installment of my online dating chronicles!

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

    Even though I was on Tinder and Bumble for two weeks and POF for only one, I obviously got more messages on POF because you don’t need to match to get a message. Like I said in Part 4, I had it set so that Males in Canada (aged 23-35) could message me. I received several messages as I was setting up my profile. I wrote a more lengthy ‘About Me’ and came up with a headline (a sentence to get people to click on your profile).

    On a dating site set up like POF where anyone can message you (unless you have restrictions on your mail settings), you’ll obviously get a variety of messages: creepy ones, gross ones, funny ones, nice ones, sweet ones, etc.

    I wrote that I loved action movies, liked burgers and that I’m probably one of the few girls who would prefer to be given food instead of flowers. A lot of the guys that messaged me were excited to find a girl who liked action movies. One said he had never met a girl who liked the Lord of the Rings trilogy and would never even consider watching the extended versions. I told him he wasn’t meeting the right girls lol. A few made a joke that they’d bring me a bouquet of burgers. It was cute when the first guy messaged me saying that, but then when several others said the same thing, it obviously wasn’t as funny/original.

    There were a few lines that seemed original and were pretty funny, but I don’t want to ruin it for the guy if that’s his pick-up line for every girl he messages. Here are some of the funny/cheesy ones that aren’t exactly original (these are verbatim, so excuse the grammar and/or wording):

    • Can I follow you? My mom told me to always follow my dreams.
    • Excuse me, Mademoiselle, could you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in your eyes…
    • There’s a strange feel in my stomach either I’m hungry or I’m in love and the only way to find out by asking you for lunch

    One guy wrote ‘looking for committed girlfriend’ in his About Me. I laughed at it because it should probably say ‘committed relationship’ or ‘serious girlfriend.’ A ‘committed girlfriend’ makes me think he wants a girl from a psychiatric hospital. Another guy wrote that he liked my profile and I “sound like a really ‘cool girl’ if you know what I mean.” Why was ‘cool girl’ in quotes and why did he write ‘if you know what I mean?’ Well, I didn’t know what he meant, so I asked him and he said that he thought I sounded cool. I have no idea why he put it in quotes and said ‘if you know what I mean’…He could’ve just said “You sound like a cool girl.” *shrugs* moving on…

    I got a few messages that I should’ve probably felt offended, but was flattered. One guy messaged me saying, “Hey, would you ever consider playing on cam for $? No offense intended.” It was gross, but I felt flattered that he wrote it. Another guy messaged me calling me a catfish and I messaged him back saying that I was real and he said he didn’t mean any offense by it. I felt flattered that he thought I would be a catfish. Either he liked my bio and thought it sounded good or liked my pics. Another guy, we’ll call him Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow. He said, “Reallyyy Jennifer? Your profile seems TOO good to be true so I think you should respond to me vs. the other 500 messages so that at least I can verify that you are real :p” I replied and we exchanged a few messages. He was a perfect gentleman and it proved to me that there are nice, not creepy, normal guys on POF- you just have to weed out the ones that are creeps and jerks.

    After a few days, I decided to get rid of the age limitations and allow any age to message me. I wanted to see if guys a lot younger/older would message me. I waited until I received 1000 messages so I could get a proper sample size. The majority were closest to my age with a few here and there that were a lot younger or older. A few of the men had listed their age as 25 or something and then they’d put it in their About Me or in their first message that they were actually 40 or something. I assume it’s because most girls will probably set their age restrictions close to the age they are.

    Capture.PNG

    Using the 1000 messages, I took the time to sort the messages into two different categories. Based on approximate percentages, this was the break-down:

    • 70% would say Hi, Hello, What’s Up, make a comment about my appearance (smile, eyes, attractiveness) or use a pick-up line
    • 30% would make a direct reference to something in my About Me section or comment on one of my secondary pictures (proving that they looked at my other pictures and didn’t just message me after seeing the first one)

    It was alarming how many of the guys wrote ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re.’ *face palm* It was flattering to get messages saying that I’m beautiful, but if you spelled it ‘your,’ it just made me cringe.

    I am a fan of Friends (if that wasn’t evident by two of the titles for this blog series), so I thought it would be funny to write this in my bio:

    tumblr_lxbavwX1Lk1r0xbido3_250.gif

    Wanted: …non-smoker, non-ugly. ← If you know what that’s from, make a reference to the show 🙂

    I wasn’t sure if everyone would get the reference, so I made it clear that it’s from a show and that I wasn’t the one saying it.

    Here were some of the first messages I got:

    • *looks down and up* How you doin’?
    • “Could that BE any more obvious” jk lool (in chandlers voice in case that made no sense xD)
    • “Could I be wearing any more clothes???”

    Click here for Part 6!

    Love,

    jen

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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  • Dipping My Toe in the Water | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 4

    May 18, 2018

    Hi Everyone!

    Have you missed previous installments of my online dating chronicles?

    Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

    Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

    Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

    Moving on from Tinder and Bumble, this post is mostly talking about the process of setting up a POF profile. I didn’t really talk about the process for Tinder and Bumble because it’s easy. You set it up with your Facebook account or email and then add pics, write a bio and you start swiping. On Plenty of Fish, it’s straightforward, but requires a bit more time setting it up. You don’t match with people and anyone can message you (unless your mail settings are restrictive). I set the mail settings so that only Men in Canada aged 23-35 could message me.

    By the one week mark, I was on three dating sites and I came across several guys on multiple ones. I have a good memory, so I remembered their pictures. One guy said he was a surgeon on Bumble and was a Stock Trader on POF…hmmm, wonder which job is his actual occupation. Obviously, he was only on Bumble for hookups because then it’d be like in Sex and the City when Miranda said she was a flight attendant and she dated the ‘ER Doctor’ (played by Clark Gregg aka Agent Phil Coulson) and he was squeamish around the sight of her bleeding finger.

    On Plenty of Fish, there’s a different process. Instead of just adding profile pics and a bio, you also fill in other things:

    • hair colour, height, body type
    • education, profession
    • if you want children
    • if you smoke, drink or do drugs
    • religion
    • if you have pets
    • longest relationship you’ve had (under 1 year, over 1 year, over 2 years and so on)

    The list goes on, but those are some of the things that are listed. Some of them had the option to choose “Prefer Not to Say.” I found this interesting especially when it was Prefer Not to Say Body Type or Children: Prefer Not to Say. These are kind of obvious because no one would choose “prefer not to say” if they didn’t have kids, so obviously a ‘prefer not to say’ has kids. As for body type, ‘prefer not to say’ probably means they have a few extra pounds. Or maybe it’s someone who’s actually ripped, but doesn’t want that to be the reason a guy/girl likes them. I found the ‘body type’ option kind of dumb to be honest because it’s subjective. A guy could list himself as ‘athletic,’ but there’s different types of athletic; think Ryan Gosling vs. Chris Hemsworth vs. The Rock. Also, depends on their height too. Personally, I prefer lean athletic because I’m a tiny, little woman and if a guy’s arm is bigger than my head that scares me. It was hard for me to choose a body type for myself because I’m petite, but it’s not like I’m in awesome shape- there are days where I’ve got a food baby and other days where the tummy is flat. I chose ‘Thin’ because athletic or average wouldn’t really be accurate.

    It also asks you to choose your personality in one word from a drop-down list. There’s a lot of options including: Chef, adventurer, athletic, gamer, geek, homebody, hopeless romantic, fashionista, film/tv junkie, professional, night owl. I chose Film/TV junkie for myself.

    It also asked you to choose your intent and these were the options:

    • I want to date, but nothing serious
    • I want a relationship
    • I am putting serious effort into finding someone
    • I am serious and want to find someone to marry

    I wasn’t sure about the last option. I mean, it’s similar to putting in serious effort to find someone because you’d want to find someone to date which would lead to marriage. I mean, it’d be a good to date a few people before I find the person I end up with to see what’s out there, but I would be ready to get married if I found the right guy.

    It was interesting because it also asked you to fill in other things that wouldn’t show up on your profile, but it would help you find people who you’d be a good fit. For example, it asked for your income and birth order (if you’re the oldest or youngest). It also asked if your birth parents are married, divorced, not together, one passed away or both passed away. It asked if you would date someone with kids or not and if you’d date someone who has a few extra pounds.

    You also fill out a 70+ question personality test that measures your Self-Confidence, Family Orientation, Self-Control, Openness and Easygoingness. You can fill out other ones that measure your Relationship needs and other things.

    Come back for the next installment to read some of the funny messages I got on POF.

    Love,

    *This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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