online dating chronicles Archives

Leave it to the Imagination | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 12

June 15, 2018
Hi Everyone!

This is the last installment of my online dating chronicles. If you’ve missed previous posts, click the link(s) below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

Part 9: Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone?

Part 10: Hi, I’d like one (man) to go, please!

Part 11: Why Are They Shirtless in a Public Bathroom?!

Today, I’m sharing with you what girls and guys should put in their profile pics and bios (what I think you should put).

Show an assortment of pictures:
1. Non-blurry pic that clearly shows your face and eyes (NO SUNGLASSES). Not taken by a computer webcam…who uses webcam pics anymore?
2. Show your fun side
3. Don’t just put up group shots where we have to play Where’s Waldo and wonder “is that him or is that him?”
Don’t just post selfies. I’m sure you have at least one pic where someone else took a picture of you. Use pics that are from the last two years at the longest. One guy said his pics were from a while ago and he looked like he had an athletic/average body, but in his description, he chose ‘a few extra pounds’.

For most pics that I came across on guys’ profiles, a lot were blurry or grainy. If all of their pics are too good and professional looking, you should be using Google Reverse Image Search. I’ve said it before, but if they got the pictures from Instagram, then Google Reverse image search won’t come up with any results. If you see below, I searched my own photo that I used as a profile pic and I’ve posted it on my Instagram and it didn’t show up in the results.

Next, I searched a picture that is on my blog, and it came up with my website for the results.

Remember that personal trainer I was talking about? He posted three pics that were taken from a Personal Trainer from LA or something. I used Google Reverse Image Search on all three pics. The first two had no results, but then I caught him on the last one where it showed up on a gym’s website or something. AHA! Bingpot! (I’ve been binge-watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine).

For my profile pics, I didn’t do any group shots because I didn’t want to use pics of my friends without their permission and plus it felt weird to put a pic of them on my online dating profile. I made sure to post one close-up (head and shoulders) and a full-length shot. I didn’t post any revealing pictures (no bikini pics) and none were showing any cleavage or my butt. I’m not judging anyone who uses those pics, but if you’re posting those pics, then you’ll attract guys who are looking for hookups instead of a relationship. If a guy is looking for a girlfriend, he doesn’t want a girl showing her butt or wearing lingerie in her profile pics and putting it all out there to see. Sure, guys like to look at that, but a guy doesn’t want his potential girlfriend or wife to be posting pics on social media showing everything. Leave it to their imagination 😉

The same goes for guys. Let it be a nice surprise that you’ve got a six/eight pack. Not that you have to be toned and athletic for girls to like you. If you only post pics of your body (mirror selfies or just torso), then it makes me think that’s all you have to offer: a nice bod (or you’re too into how you look).

Of course, regardless of whether your pics are revealing or not, you will still get some gross messages. So, be prepared for that.

I saw an article in my research that said you should choose profile pics (at least the main one) where you’re NOT looking into the camera. I guess because it feels like they’re staring at us as we swipe and you get self-conscious and you’re like “oh, no, he knows I’m swiping left on him!!”

I did a combo of different pictures, but the ones I used for the majority of my time on the sites were:
- a close-up pic of me looking away from the camera- wearing makeup (head and shoulders)
- me in a Supergirl costume on Halloween (I’m wearing a tank top and a fit and flare mini skirt and tights)
- A far away shot of me on the bridge from Inception
- a full-length shot of me on the beach (wearing a tank top and shorts, not a bikini)
- A pic of me wearing barely any makeup (just spot concealer) so they know what I look like without makeup. It was also from a different angle from the close up shot
For the bio, write SOMETHING! It doesn’t have to be a paragraph, but just write something that you like to get a conversation going. I put a question after mine so they could answer it: What’s your fave A&W order? In the conversation starters for POF, I asked what their fave burger place was and who was their fave Batman. I got some good responses and plan to try out those burger places…thanks, guys! (Maybe I’ll do a blog post on the burgers and rate them).

This installment ends my online dating chronicles. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope for all of my fellow single ladies out there, it hasn’t discouraged anyone from trying dating sites. I probably had more fun with it than most because I wasn’t really trying to meet someone. If it worked out that way, then it would’ve been nice, but I wasn’t really putting in 100% into finding someone. Then again, I don’t know if I’d put in 100% and try so hard to find someone because when you least expect it, someone can pop into your life. Maybe you start off as colleagues/friends and then it becomes something more. As much as I would love to have a meet cute, those only happen in movies. I could never have a meet cute because of my Resting Bitch Face (RBF). I don’t know why, but sometimes my neutral face can be bitchy or I just look like I’m sad. Then again, the right person won’t even notice if you have RBF. My mom and sister’s RBF is strong, and my dad and brother-in-law have both said something similar to my mom and sister, “that’s just your face.” Some day, I’ll find the one who says that to me, hopefully I don’t have to date a bunch of donkeys/asses to get to my unicorn (do unicorns apply to men? or is it just referring to girls?). *shrugs* either way, he’s out there somewhere.

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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“Why Are They Shirtless in a Public Bathroom?!” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 11

June 12, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Welcome back to another installment of my online dating series! If you’ve missed any, click the links below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

Part 9: Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone?

Part 10: Hi, I’d like one (man) to go, please!

Part 11: Why Are They Shirtless in a Public Bathroom?!

Today, I’ll be sharing some of the funny thoughts I had while I was swiping and some of the funny bios I came across. My thoughts will be in italics so you can differentiate what I was thinking as I swiped.

Tinder & Bumble:
- *has a picture of him flipping a pancake in the air*
  - Bio: The pancake landed on the floor…I’m basically useless but I’d date me
  - I was wondering if he caught it
- Bio: I’m going to be straight up with you. I need to find someone to eat the other half of my pizzas.
  - He can’t eat a whole pizza by himself?
- Bio: “Maybe one day someone will say ‘sir’ without adding ‘you’re making a scene”.
  - lol
- *profile pic is of him taking a shirtless mirror selfie in a public bathroom…but he is wearing a scarf
  - I have so many questions for this guy: was he alone in the bathroom and decided to take off his shirt and take a mirror selfie, did he wait until he was alone in the bathroom to take the pic…why is he shirtless in a public bathroom? Why is he wearing a scarf? If he’s cold, he should put his shirt back on…
- Occupation: Florist. Bio: They didn’t have firefighter so I put florist…we both put water on stuff so it made sense.
  - hahahha, that’s funny, but obviously Firefighter would be in the occupations list?
- Bio: Am I the only guy who is not looking for a one night stand?! Two night stands are much more efficient!
  - hahahahha, this probably isn’t an original line, but that’s funny and so true…wait, I only have one night table in my room.
- Occupation: Pilot. *profile pic is him in his uniform and a headset on*
  - He looks like Ed Burns! Why do all these pilots take a selfie in the cockpit? The doctors wouldn’t post a selfie in scrubs in the OR??
- Bio: That’s not my kid…or my dog! Profile pics: him with a kid and a caption that says ‘not my kid’
  - Wow, he really wants the ladies to know that it’s not his kid. Does he think every girl will see his pics and be like: *swoons* “his profile pics have him with a dog AND a child…wow he’s sooooo sensitive!!!”
- *swiping and sees that we have a mutual friend* Wow, I have a lot of mutual connections with these guys on Tinder and it’s just the one Facebook friend.
- *shirtless selfie, but he’s wearing a parka*
  - What? Why???
- Wow, he looks like a morph of Bradley Cooper and Chris Pine
- *comes across a profile with two guys* Bio says they’re bi guys in an open relationship
  - wow, their skin is amazing…is that how it is or really good phone filter?
- hehe, an Asian guy named Hans
- Bio: long romantic walks to the fridge
  - lol.
On Plenty of Fish:
- Headline: Am I what your looking for 🙂 ?
  - Ummm, no. You don’t know when to use you’re!!
- Headline: You’re Ideal guy!
  - Is he saying I’m the ideal guy?? WHY DO SO MANY GUYS NOT KNOW WHEN TO USE YOU’RE VS. YOUR!
- Education: High school. Profession: Enginner
  - how does that work? An Engineer whose highest level of education is high school?
- Profile Pics: one of him in a car (I assume it’s him) and one pic of Joe Jonas
  - Why does he have pics of himself AND Joe Jonas?
- Headline: Heey my name’s nemo & I’m not afraid to touch the butt
  - hahahahahaha!!!
- *swiping* Oh, look, a shirtless mirror selfie where his head is cut off and it’s just torso! Why are there so many of these?
- Single father has a mirror selfie with him and his daughter both wearing green face masks and bathrobes.
  - Awww! That’s so cute!! She’s holding a wristlet and her nails are painted too. I hope to find someone who will be like that when he becomes a father, but that’s just too much responsibility to date someone who already has a toddler.
- Headline: Who wants to help me get off of here?
  - What? Oh, he should really rephrase that…
On OKCupid:
- *sees guy from Tinder, but his name is different*
  - His name says Johnny…wasn’t it Vladimir on Tinder??* (names changed)
Final Thoughts on Profile Pics:
- Why are there so many shirtless mirror selfies in public bathrooms?
- I love a guy wearing sunglasses, but if you could do a close up pic showing your eyes, that would be great
- If you’ve ever worn a suit or a button up shirt (optional: with a tie), then put that in your profile pics (unless the only pic you have is with an ex-girlfriend)
Don’t need a pic with your mom, grandma, niece/nephew or dog. Let us find out your sensitive side as we’re getting to know you. If you own a dog, it’s useful to know in case you don’t like dogs or are allergic, but if it’s not your dog, then why is the dog in your pic?

For children in your pics, you should ask parents’ permission when you post a pic of their child on social media…do they know you’re using their child as bait to get girls on Tinder? It’s not like girls are posting pics with their nieces/nephews (I’m assuming, I didn’t see girls’ profiles) and writing in their bio: “Not my kid” or “proud aunt”. There were quite a few guys who wrote “proud uncle” in their bio. Uhh, okay, it’s great when you’re close with your niece or nephew and we see that you’re good with kids, but do you need to write it in your bio?

Also, don’t really need a shirtless pic. Unless you’re at the beach or something where it makes sense why you’d be shirtless. When you take a shirtless gym/mirror selfie, it makes me think you’re trying to take attention away from your face…which could be why you have a shirtless pic. About half of the guys that had shirtless pics were attractive though, so maybe just proud of their eight pack.

In my last installment, I’ll share some unsolicited advice on what pics to put in your profile and what types of things I look for when reading the bios.

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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“Hi, I’d like one (man) to go, please!” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 10

June 8, 2018

Hi Everyone!

So, we are starting to wrap up my online dating chronicles. If you’ve missed previous installments, click below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

Part 9: Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone?

I’m not going to rate the different sites because it really depends on what you’re looking for when you use the apps. But, here are some thoughts on each of the dating sites/apps:

Tinder- most likely looking for a hookup, probably only a handful that are looking to meet someone to date long-term.

Bumble- similar to Tinder, but since it’s up to the girl to message first, not the best site for introverts or traditional girls who want guys to make the first move. I didn’t try the networking part of the app, but I did try the Friends version and sort of chatted with a few ladies, but didn’t make any new girlfriends.

POF- You are going to get messaged by a lot of creeps because you don’t have to swipe right on a guy for them to message you. Unless your settings are very restrictive so that only Upgraded members can message you, you will get gross and creepy messages. Then again, upgraded members can be just as bad as the rest. Be careful of catfish, use Google Reverse Image Search, it will be your best friend. It doesn’t pick up pictures if they were taken from an Instagram account, but at least you can find out if he took a stock image somewhere or if he’s using some famous guy’s pics.

OK Cupid- You’re probably using this because you’re a little more serious about meeting someone special (not just for a hookup). I guess the matching can help to find out if a potential match has the same values and thinks the same way you do. I didn’t really like the part where you choose from a drop-down menu to fill out your bio. I didn’t really like that if someone messaged you, you’d only see it when you come across their profile. Sometimes I missed the messages and then there’s no inbox to read them again.

Coffee Meets Bagel- Like I said in the previous post, you probably use this app if you’re a business professional and don’t have a lot of time to swipe through all the guys in your city. It helps narrow down the field for you and it lets you see who is already interested in getting to know you better.

I think if I had to choose the one dating app that I would use again, it would be Bumble. It has a slight edge over Tinder because I like the fact that the girl is the one who has to message first. Since you only have 24 hours to message them after matching and they have 24 hours to reply after you messaged them, then both parties are obviously interested if he replies. On Tinder, I got a few messages 2-3 days after matching with someone) and by that time, I was like meh, whatever (I already assumed he lost interest). I also liked that you could shake your phone and bring back a guy if you accidentally swiped left on him. Once your thumb gets into the motion of swiping left, you go faster and faster and sometimes you make a mistake.

I had a fun time trying out all the different apps and now I know which apps to try out if going out in the real world and trying to meet someone doesn’t work. So, although there were some sparks on Tinder, they fizzled out. I did NOT find the drone to my Queen Bee on Bumble, my lobster on POF, my everything bagel on Coffee Meets Bagel and Cupid must’ve missed when he shot his arrow on OK Cupid. Actually, everything bagel isn’t the best way to describe a potential boyfriend. I don’t even like everything bagels that much. I prefer Cheddar Herb bagels from Great Canadian bagels. I used to get them all the time in high school before they closed their store. Now, there are only a handful of locations and they all close pretty early…no wonder I’m still single. It’s so hard for me to find a BAGEL, never mind a BOYFRIEND. I do eat other bagels though, I’m not just always waiting around to get my cheddar herb bagel. I guess it’s a good analogy for dating; I need to try all these poppyseed, sesame, plain bagels (go on dates) to find that cheddar herb bagel out there.

If only there were some dating site where you go up to a counter and say,

Hi, one (man) to go, please. Between 5’7″ (so I can wear heels and he’ll still be taller) and 6″ (so he’s not too tall when I’m wearing flats). Enjoys watching movies and shows. Housebroken, wants children, non-smoker, doesn’t do drugs, and has all of the following *lists more characteristics and values*

Oh, and it would be a plus if he could pull off different looks: plain tee and jeans, a suit, leather jacket and if he looked good in aviators/wayfarer sunglasses, oh la la!! 😉

It’s not like I expect to marry the next guy I date, but it’s better if anyone I date wants children or is open to having children in the future. Why waste time dating someone who doesn’t want something you know you want? Even if he’s perfect in every other way, if there’s a non-negotiable, then why advance the relationship further?

In the last two installments of these dating chronicles, I’m going to share some of the funny thoughts I had while swiping and also give out some pointers (to the guys). Have a great weekend!

Click here for Part 11

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone? | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 9

June 5, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Here’s the next installment of my online dating chronicles. If you missed any of the previous parts, click the link(s) below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

Today, I’ll be writing about how the apps Coffee Meets Bagel and OK Cupid work. So, it’s more of an informational post again like Part 4 was for POF. Both apps had a similar setup where you complete a sentence for your profile. For example, Coffee Meets Bagel said “I appreciate when my date…” and you choose to fill it out. A few guys wrote that they appreciate when their date puts down the phone. I find this sad that they have to say that. I think what most people mean when they say to put the phone away is don’t scroll through Instagram or constantly be checking your phone for texts from your friends to tell them how the date is going. But, out of respect, even when I’m with friends, I rarely have my phone out. Of course, this can be a bad thing too. One time I went to a late movie after work with a friend and we grabbed bubble tea after the movie (which I told my parents, but I guess they didn’t hear me). My parents got worried when I wasn’t replying to their texts and wasn’t home by midnight (I had work early the next day and I was planning to make holiday cookies for my coworkers, so they expected I would be home at a reasonable time). Note to self- get verbal confirmation from parents that they know what’s happening and maybe just check my phone and send a text once it gets late.

Coffee Meets Bagel

I thought this was a funny name. They chose the name because grabbing coffee is an easy first date and then ‘bagel’ because they launched the app in New York. Surprisingly, I came across one of my classmates’ older brothers on the app. I was only on the site for a day so that I could get matches, just to see how it worked.

Coffee Meets Bagel was kind of interesting because you fill out info like you do on Tinder. If you’re a female seeking a male, every day at 12pm, you are sent your ‘daily bagels.’ The daily bagels are guys who have liked you. So, it’s similar to having the paid version of the other apps. It shows you who already likes you and you can decide whether you like them back and if you do, they can message you. So, in a way, Coffee Meets Bagel is a mix of several apps because the girl (like Bumble) is the one to make the decision whether the guy can message you or not. It’s like if you were swiping on Tinder, and you were only shown profiles of the guys who already liked you. The one difference for Coffee Meets Bagel is that you are only shown a handful (about 10 or so?) of guys.

Each day at noon, guys will receive up to 21 quality matches – known as “Bagels”. They are given the option to either LIKE or PASS. Then, Coffee Meets Bagel will curate the best potential matches for women among the men who expressed interest.

Women will choose who gets to talk to them among quality men who already liked them. That’s right. No more guessing games!

Users also earn or can pay for coffee beans, which unlock special features like finding out who the mutual friends of your match (when connected to Facebook) are or giving a match a second chance.

It almost felt like this app was more for professionals. The ones who work a lot and don’t have a lot of downtime to swipe through tons of people.

OK Cupid

For OK Cupid, it was similar to POF where you fill out your info (you choose which ones you want to fill out):
- Sexual Orientation
- Gender
- Height
- Build (Body type)
- Ethnicity
- School
- Religion
- Whether you smoke, drink or do drugs
- If you eat meat or not (i.e. Omnivore)
- whether you have kids/if you want them
- Horoscope Sign
You can also say if you speak a second language and choose whether religion is important.

Then, you fill out a self-summary (bio) and you can choose a selection of drop-down questions to fill out. You know when you have to choose from a drop-down list of questions when you’re filling out security questions for the bank or something and there’s a few choices for each question? That’s how OK Cupid is set up. Some of the questions include:
- What I’m doing with my life
- Favourite book, tv show, movie, music, food
- You should message me if…
- I’m really good at…
- The first thing people notice about me is…
- I spend a lot of time thinking about…
In addition to filling these questions out (whether you choose to or not), you are given a series of questions on different topics and based on your answers, you are matched with people based on whether they answered the questions in the same way. You get a match percentage and an enemy percentage. The enemy percentage is based on how you answered the questions and if they answered slightly different, then your enemy percentage goes up. It doesn’t base the match percentage on your interests, it bases it on how you answered a series of questions that ask you about dating, sex, ethics, politics, etc. I didn’t know this when I signed up, I thought matches were based on interests, but it’s based on the series of questions you answer.

You are asked a question and then you choose what answers you would accept from a potential match. Then, you choose the importance of the question.
- Do spelling mistakes annoy you?
  - Yes
  - No
- Answer I’ll accept:
  - Yes
  - No
- Importance
  - A little
  - Somewhat
  - Very
If you chose both ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ for ‘answers I’ll accept,’ they mark it as irrelevant and don’t count it in your questionnaire. So, if you chose that spelling mistakes do annoy you and then a potential match said no, then your enemy percentage goes up.

Luckily, you can look at how you both answered the questions to see which questions your answers were different. This is useful because you can see which answers matter to you.

They even had some logic questions like whether the Earth or Sun is bigger and “Half of all policemen are thieves and half are murderers. Does it follow logically that all policemen are criminals?” This type of question is called a syllogism (which I just found out). “A syllogism is a kind of logical argument that applies deductive reasoning to arrive at a conclusion based on two or more propositions that are asserted or assumed to be true.” It reminded me of Orphan Black when they ask the Castors and Helena those questions.

All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion: All mangoes are cheap…

Helena: Where are these mangoes?… I would like to see these mangoes.

Haha, gotta love Helena. Always thinking about food. Same, girl.

I feel like OK Cupid is more for people looking for a long-term relationship and you can see if your values and way of thinking is similar by using the questionnaire.

For the last installments of this blog series, I’m going to share my final thoughts on online dating. I’ll let you know which apps to join depending on what you’re looking for, and offer some tips to the guys out there on what would make me swipe right. Also, I’ll share some of the reactions I had while swiping.

Click here for Part 10

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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“Dobby Has No Master, Dobby is a Free Elf” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 8

June 1, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Here’s the latest installment of my online dating chronicles. If you missed any of the previous installments, click below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Most messages that I got were nice messages; I even got a marriage proposal (probably a joke…I think). Out of the 1000 messages, less than 20 were gross, insulting or rude which I think is a pretty good record (98% were nice messages). This is part of what I wrote in my bio:

Probably one of the few girls out there that doesn’t really like flowers…I’d rather be given food 🙂 I love burgers! I may only be 5’3″, but my usual dinner order from A&W (one of my fave fast food places) is a mama burger, teen burger and sweet potato fries (oh, and can’t forget the chipotle mayo!).

One guy made me laugh and wrote, “You probably don’t share your burgers either.” That is correct, sir! Who shares burgers?? Unless you want to try two burgers and you share half of each. One time, after dinner, we went to Richtree Market for dessert and I said to my sister, “I’m too full for a crepe, wanna share two?” lol.

Another guy wrote that there was no way I could eat all of that. If only he knew. Here’s my dinner from the other day. I got two mamas because there was a coupon, but this is all miiiiine!!

Here was an exchange between me and another guy, we’ll call him Mr. Double Oh Zero:
- Him: You will likely be on pof for a long time. You read to be clinically insane. Chipotle mayo.
  - Lol, what’s he got against chipotle mayo?
- Me: Excuse me?!
- Him: You need to make your self description appealing rather than appalling. Just a suggestion
Well, Mr. Double Oh Zero, 999 other men seemed to like my profile, so I don’t have time for people who think I should be locked up in a mental hospital. Byeeee! BLOCKED. (I do applaud him for using ‘than’ instead of ‘then’). In his bio, he wrote that he liked Judge Judy- does he mean the show or the woman? He also wrote that it should be easy to meet people so there’s obviously something wrong with him and likely something wrong with you too. If all of his openers are like that, then I’m guessing he’ll “likely be on POF for a long time.”

For my profession, I put Blogger & Online Shop Owner. I rarely call someone this, but some asshole messaged me: What do you blog about? Being unemployed? What the actual eff? Was it supposed to be a joke? I see why, at 34, he’s divorced, and his longest relationship was under 1 year. I don’t really understand how he’s divorced and it was under a year. Who would have a whirlwind romance with this guy? He has a PhD which makes sense because he’s a Pretty Huge Dickhead.

There were a few messages saying they’d let me dominate them or they wanted to be my slave boy, but there were more men looking for a submissive and some who “like Asian girls.” Is it because I’m Asian that they think I would be a submissive? Well, then let me tell you, “Dobby has no Master. Dobby is a free elf.”

I was talking to this one guy (cute from his one profile pic) and we exchanged a few messages about likes and dislikes. He mentioned that he’s been asked some weird things and he doesn’t get why “people don’t just have a normal conversation” and that some didn’t even say ‘hi’ or ‘hello.” We were hitting it off talking about movies and shows and then out of the blue, he said he’s more of a dominant man type- very respectful, but likes to take charge behind closed doors. Well…we were having a normal conversation until you sprung that on me. That’s not to say that a guy who likes to be dominant isn’t normal or anything (you do your thing and I’ll do mine), but he just kind of sprung that on me after he said Westworld was good. It would have been better if he just opened with that instead of me wasting about 2 hours (on and off) of exchanging messages. Was he using those 2 hours to see if I was normal? It may have been a bit immature of me, but I blocked him right after that message. Yes, I could’ve just messaged him saying, “that’s not my thing” and hopefully that would’ve been the end of the exchange, but it was just easier to block him. He seemed nice enough and I hope he finds a girl who’s into that.

That concludes my fishing adventures, but come back for the next installment to read about my brief time on OKCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel.

Click here for Part 9!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy! | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 7

May 29, 2018

Hi Everyone!

Here’s Part 7 of my online dating chronicles!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

A while back, my sister and I were talking about something and she brought up something from Sesame Street. I never watched it when I was a kid, but she did and I was like what are you talking about? So, she found the video and showed me. Since I’m talking about Plenty of FISH, I thought it was funny to include. Ernie catches fish with his special fish call. He doesn’t need a fishing pole to reel in the fish, he just yells, “Heeere, fishy, fishy, fishy!” and they jump right into the boat.

A lot of guys had their bio blank and it said to just message them if you want to get to know them. I think you should at least put a few sentences in your bio because then a girl is just messaging you based on her attraction to you and not a mutual interest. You don’t have to put your whole life story, but put a hobby or two just to get a conversation going!

When I was researching POF, I looked up how many messages (on average) guys get each month. It’s hard to gauge since it depends on attractiveness and what’s in their bio, but I think guys are lucky if they receive 10 messages a month. Not a lot of girls make the first move. I messaged a few first and they replied back, but I may have scared some off by telling them I was doing a blog series on online dating. I wanted to be upfront about it because if there was any spark, I didn’t want them to think I was interested just for the blog post. It was a double-edged sword- if I didn’t tell them, they could possibly find out later on, but if I tell them right away, I scare them off. Oh well, if any of them had been the right guy, it wouldn’t have scared them off.

If you do message someone first, please make sure autocorrect hasn’t fixed anything. You want to make a good first impression, right? I got one message saying: Hi !!! You seem very amazing 🙂 I really want to kiss you under the stars sometime and hold your jams how’s that sound ? Hahahaha! Hold my jams??? I hope that was supposed to say hands.

I made first contact with one guy (his pic looked like some webcam pic and he was wearing a button-down shirt and tie). We were messaging back and forth and he asked if I had snapchat because he wanted to show me his body (umm, no thank you). I told him if he’s looking for a hookup, I’m not that type of girl and he said, “well this was a waste of time lol.” You and me both, buddy.

I caught a lot of fish like Ernie, but I had to throw a lot of them back into the water. I think online dating has its pros and cons. On a site like Plenty of Fish where it lists things like the highest level of education, if you have a car, if you’re ambitious, if you want children, you nitpick more than you might if you had met someone at work or through mutual friends. I found myself looking at profiles and saw that a lot of the guys had high school as their highest level of education. I know that tons of people are successful and didn’t attend college or university, but as someone who was lucky enough to attend and graduate from university, I would prefer to date someone who is also university or college educated. I don’t care whether he has a car or not. I don’t have a license, so taking the subway isn’t a problem. Quite a few of the guys chose Prefer Not to Say or Undecided on having children which is perfectly fine. They don’t want to tell all these random strangers if they want children. If someone chose Does Not Want Children, I instantly exited their profile; I know I want to have children, so why waste each other’s time?

Another thing is you’re basing your attraction to them based on their physical attractiveness. Some people aren’t photogenic. If you meet someone in person, your attraction to them can grow even if you don’t find them good looking. Maybe they’re funny and there’s that special something about them that makes them attractive. That can’t happen online- you just swipe left or don’t reply to their message if you don’t find them good looking. Unfortunately, I was guilty of doing this and I was more so doing this for research. As my mom said, you should try going out first before you skip to online dating which is true. What are the chances I’m like Rapunzel and my Flynn Rider will just pop up on my doorstep? Probably 0.000001% which means I need to leave the house more often. When our mailman rings the doorbell, I don’t even answer the door, so that percentage is probably even lower. People usually use online dating sites like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid as a last resort. I have to get outside more before I give online dating a real try.

In the next installment, more from my fishing adventures on Plenty of Fish!

Click here for Part 8!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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“How You Doin’?” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 5

May 22, 2018
Hi Everyone!

I’m back with another installment of my online dating chronicles!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Even though I was on Tinder and Bumble for two weeks and POF for only one, I obviously got more messages on POF because you don’t need to match to get a message. Like I said in Part 4, I had it set so that Males in Canada (aged 23-35) could message me. I received several messages as I was setting up my profile. I wrote a more lengthy ‘About Me’ and came up with a headline (a sentence to get people to click on your profile).

On a dating site set up like POF where anyone can message you (unless you have restrictions on your mail settings), you’ll obviously get a variety of messages: creepy ones, gross ones, funny ones, nice ones, sweet ones, etc.

I wrote that I loved action movies, liked burgers and that I’m probably one of the few girls who would prefer to be given food instead of flowers. A lot of the guys that messaged me were excited to find a girl who liked action movies. One said he had never met a girl who liked the Lord of the Rings trilogy and would never even consider watching the extended versions. I told him he wasn’t meeting the right girls lol. A few made a joke that they’d bring me a bouquet of burgers. It was cute when the first guy messaged me saying that, but then when several others said the same thing, it obviously wasn’t as funny/original.

There were a few lines that seemed original and were pretty funny, but I don’t want to ruin it for the guy if that’s his pick-up line for every girl he messages. Here are some of the funny/cheesy ones that aren’t exactly original (these are verbatim, so excuse the grammar and/or wording):
- Can I follow you? My mom told me to always follow my dreams.
- Excuse me, Mademoiselle, could you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in your eyes…
- There’s a strange feel in my stomach either I’m hungry or I’m in love and the only way to find out by asking you for lunch
One guy wrote ‘looking for committed girlfriend’ in his About Me. I laughed at it because it should probably say ‘committed relationship’ or ‘serious girlfriend.’ A ‘committed girlfriend’ makes me think he wants a girl from a psychiatric hospital. Another guy wrote that he liked my profile and I “sound like a really ‘cool girl’ if you know what I mean.” Why was ‘cool girl’ in quotes and why did he write ‘if you know what I mean?’ Well, I didn’t know what he meant, so I asked him and he said that he thought I sounded cool. I have no idea why he put it in quotes and said ‘if you know what I mean’…He could’ve just said “You sound like a cool girl.” *shrugs* moving on…

I got a few messages that I should’ve probably felt offended, but was flattered. One guy messaged me saying, “Hey, would you ever consider playing on cam for $? No offense intended.” It was gross, but I felt flattered that he wrote it. Another guy messaged me calling me a catfish and I messaged him back saying that I was real and he said he didn’t mean any offense by it. I felt flattered that he thought I would be a catfish. Either he liked my bio and thought it sounded good or liked my pics. Another guy, we’ll call him ~~Mr.~~ Captain Jack Sparrow. He said, “Reallyyy Jennifer? Your profile seems TOO good to be true so I think you should respond to me vs. the other 500 messages so that at least I can verify that you are real :p” I replied and we exchanged a few messages. He was a perfect gentleman and it proved to me that there are nice, not creepy, normal guys on POF- you just have to weed out the ones that are creeps and jerks.

After a few days, I decided to get rid of the age limitations and allow any age to message me. I wanted to see if guys a lot younger/older would message me. I waited until I received 1000 messages so I could get a proper sample size. The majority were closest to my age with a few here and there that were a lot younger or older. A few of the men had listed their age as 25 or something and then they’d put it in their About Me or in their first message that they were actually 40 or something. I assume it’s because most girls will probably set their age restrictions close to the age they are.

Using the 1000 messages, I took the time to sort the messages into two different categories. Based on approximate percentages, this was the break-down:
- 70% would say Hi, Hello, What’s Up, make a comment about my appearance (smile, eyes, attractiveness) or use a pick-up line
- 30% would make a direct reference to something in my About Me section or comment on one of my secondary pictures (proving that they looked at my other pictures and didn’t just message me after seeing the first one)
It was alarming how many of the guys wrote ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re.’ *face palm* It was flattering to get messages saying that I’m beautiful, but if you spelled it ‘your,’ it just made me cringe.

I am a fan of Friends (if that wasn’t evident by two of the titles for this blog series), so I thought it would be funny to write this in my bio:

Wanted: …non-smoker, non-ugly. ← If you know what that’s from, make a reference to the show 🙂

I wasn’t sure if everyone would get the reference, so I made it clear that it’s from a show and that I wasn’t the one saying it.

Here were some of the first messages I got:
- *looks down and up* How you doin’?
- “Could that BE any more obvious” jk lool (in chandlers voice in case that made no sense xD)
- “Could I be wearing any more clothes???”
Click here for Part 6!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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Dipping My Toe in the Water | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 4

May 18, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Have you missed previous installments of my online dating chronicles?

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Moving on from Tinder and Bumble, this post is mostly talking about the process of setting up a POF profile. I didn’t really talk about the process for Tinder and Bumble because it’s easy. You set it up with your Facebook account or email and then add pics, write a bio and you start swiping. On Plenty of Fish, it’s straightforward, but requires a bit more time setting it up. You don’t match with people and anyone can message you (unless your mail settings are restrictive). I set the mail settings so that only Men in Canada aged 23-35 could message me.

By the one week mark, I was on three dating sites and I came across several guys on multiple ones. I have a good memory, so I remembered their pictures. One guy said he was a surgeon on Bumble and was a Stock Trader on POF…hmmm, wonder which job is his actual occupation. Obviously, he was only on Bumble for hookups because then it’d be like in Sex and the City when Miranda said she was a flight attendant and she dated the ‘ER Doctor’ (played by Clark Gregg aka Agent Phil Coulson) and he was squeamish around the sight of her bleeding finger.

On Plenty of Fish, there’s a different process. Instead of just adding profile pics and a bio, you also fill in other things:
- hair colour, height, body type
- education, profession
- if you want children
- if you smoke, drink or do drugs
- religion
- if you have pets
- longest relationship you’ve had (under 1 year, over 1 year, over 2 years and so on)
The list goes on, but those are some of the things that are listed. Some of them had the option to choose “Prefer Not to Say.” I found this interesting especially when it was Prefer Not to Say Body Type or Children: Prefer Not to Say. These are kind of obvious because no one would choose “prefer not to say” if they didn’t have kids, so obviously a ‘prefer not to say’ has kids. As for body type, ‘prefer not to say’ probably means they have a few extra pounds. Or maybe it’s someone who’s actually ripped, but doesn’t want that to be the reason a guy/girl likes them. I found the ‘body type’ option kind of dumb to be honest because it’s subjective. A guy could list himself as ‘athletic,’ but there’s different types of athletic; think Ryan Gosling vs. Chris Hemsworth vs. The Rock. Also, depends on their height too. Personally, I prefer lean athletic because I’m a tiny, little woman and if a guy’s arm is bigger than my head that scares me. It was hard for me to choose a body type for myself because I’m petite, but it’s not like I’m in awesome shape- there are days where I’ve got a food baby and other days where the tummy is flat. I chose ‘Thin’ because athletic or average wouldn’t really be accurate.

It also asks you to choose your personality in one word from a drop-down list. There’s a lot of options including: Chef, adventurer, athletic, gamer, geek, homebody, hopeless romantic, fashionista, film/tv junkie, professional, night owl. I chose Film/TV junkie for myself.

It also asked you to choose your intent and these were the options:
- I want to date, but nothing serious
- I want a relationship
- I am putting serious effort into finding someone
- I am serious and want to find someone to marry
I wasn’t sure about the last option. I mean, it’s similar to putting in serious effort to find someone because you’d want to find someone to date which would lead to marriage. I mean, it’d be a good to date a few people before I find the person I end up with to see what’s out there, but I would be ready to get married if I found the right guy.

It was interesting because it also asked you to fill in other things that wouldn’t show up on your profile, but it would help you find people who you’d be a good fit. For example, it asked for your income and birth order (if you’re the oldest or youngest). It also asked if your birth parents are married, divorced, not together, one passed away or both passed away. It asked if you would date someone with kids or not and if you’d date someone who has a few extra pounds.

You also fill out a 70+ question personality test that measures your Self-Confidence, Family Orientation, Self-Control, Openness and Easygoingness. You can fill out other ones that measure your Relationship needs and other things.

Come back for the next installment to read some of the funny messages I got on POF.

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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