Plenty Of Fish Archives

“Why Are They Shirtless in a Public Bathroom?!” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 11

June 12, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Welcome back to another installment of my online dating series! If you’ve missed any, click the links below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

Part 9: Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone?

Part 10: Hi, I’d like one (man) to go, please!

Part 11: Why Are They Shirtless in a Public Bathroom?!

Today, I’ll be sharing some of the funny thoughts I had while I was swiping and some of the funny bios I came across. My thoughts will be in italics so you can differentiate what I was thinking as I swiped.

Tinder & Bumble:
- *has a picture of him flipping a pancake in the air*
  - Bio: The pancake landed on the floor…I’m basically useless but I’d date me
  - I was wondering if he caught it
- Bio: I’m going to be straight up with you. I need to find someone to eat the other half of my pizzas.
  - He can’t eat a whole pizza by himself?
- Bio: “Maybe one day someone will say ‘sir’ without adding ‘you’re making a scene”.
  - lol
- *profile pic is of him taking a shirtless mirror selfie in a public bathroom…but he is wearing a scarf
  - I have so many questions for this guy: was he alone in the bathroom and decided to take off his shirt and take a mirror selfie, did he wait until he was alone in the bathroom to take the pic…why is he shirtless in a public bathroom? Why is he wearing a scarf? If he’s cold, he should put his shirt back on…
- Occupation: Florist. Bio: They didn’t have firefighter so I put florist…we both put water on stuff so it made sense.
  - hahahha, that’s funny, but obviously Firefighter would be in the occupations list?
- Bio: Am I the only guy who is not looking for a one night stand?! Two night stands are much more efficient!
  - hahahahha, this probably isn’t an original line, but that’s funny and so true…wait, I only have one night table in my room.
- Occupation: Pilot. *profile pic is him in his uniform and a headset on*
  - He looks like Ed Burns! Why do all these pilots take a selfie in the cockpit? The doctors wouldn’t post a selfie in scrubs in the OR??
- Bio: That’s not my kid…or my dog! Profile pics: him with a kid and a caption that says ‘not my kid’
  - Wow, he really wants the ladies to know that it’s not his kid. Does he think every girl will see his pics and be like: *swoons* “his profile pics have him with a dog AND a child…wow he’s sooooo sensitive!!!”
- *swiping and sees that we have a mutual friend* Wow, I have a lot of mutual connections with these guys on Tinder and it’s just the one Facebook friend.
- *shirtless selfie, but he’s wearing a parka*
  - What? Why???
- Wow, he looks like a morph of Bradley Cooper and Chris Pine
- *comes across a profile with two guys* Bio says they’re bi guys in an open relationship
  - wow, their skin is amazing…is that how it is or really good phone filter?
- hehe, an Asian guy named Hans
- Bio: long romantic walks to the fridge
  - lol.
On Plenty of Fish:
- Headline: Am I what your looking for 🙂 ?
  - Ummm, no. You don’t know when to use you’re!!
- Headline: You’re Ideal guy!
  - Is he saying I’m the ideal guy?? WHY DO SO MANY GUYS NOT KNOW WHEN TO USE YOU’RE VS. YOUR!
- Education: High school. Profession: Enginner
  - how does that work? An Engineer whose highest level of education is high school?
- Profile Pics: one of him in a car (I assume it’s him) and one pic of Joe Jonas
  - Why does he have pics of himself AND Joe Jonas?
- Headline: Heey my name’s nemo & I’m not afraid to touch the butt
  - hahahahahaha!!!
- *swiping* Oh, look, a shirtless mirror selfie where his head is cut off and it’s just torso! Why are there so many of these?
- Single father has a mirror selfie with him and his daughter both wearing green face masks and bathrobes.
  - Awww! That’s so cute!! She’s holding a wristlet and her nails are painted too. I hope to find someone who will be like that when he becomes a father, but that’s just too much responsibility to date someone who already has a toddler.
- Headline: Who wants to help me get off of here?
  - What? Oh, he should really rephrase that…
On OKCupid:
- *sees guy from Tinder, but his name is different*
  - His name says Johnny…wasn’t it Vladimir on Tinder??* (names changed)
Final Thoughts on Profile Pics:
- Why are there so many shirtless mirror selfies in public bathrooms?
- I love a guy wearing sunglasses, but if you could do a close up pic showing your eyes, that would be great
- If you’ve ever worn a suit or a button up shirt (optional: with a tie), then put that in your profile pics (unless the only pic you have is with an ex-girlfriend)
Don’t need a pic with your mom, grandma, niece/nephew or dog. Let us find out your sensitive side as we’re getting to know you. If you own a dog, it’s useful to know in case you don’t like dogs or are allergic, but if it’s not your dog, then why is the dog in your pic?

For children in your pics, you should ask parents’ permission when you post a pic of their child on social media…do they know you’re using their child as bait to get girls on Tinder? It’s not like girls are posting pics with their nieces/nephews (I’m assuming, I didn’t see girls’ profiles) and writing in their bio: “Not my kid” or “proud aunt”. There were quite a few guys who wrote “proud uncle” in their bio. Uhh, okay, it’s great when you’re close with your niece or nephew and we see that you’re good with kids, but do you need to write it in your bio?

Also, don’t really need a shirtless pic. Unless you’re at the beach or something where it makes sense why you’d be shirtless. When you take a shirtless gym/mirror selfie, it makes me think you’re trying to take attention away from your face…which could be why you have a shirtless pic. About half of the guys that had shirtless pics were attractive though, so maybe just proud of their eight pack.

In my last installment, I’ll share some unsolicited advice on what pics to put in your profile and what types of things I look for when reading the bios.

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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“Hi, I’d like one (man) to go, please!” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 10

June 8, 2018

Hi Everyone!

So, we are starting to wrap up my online dating chronicles. If you’ve missed previous installments, click below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Part 8: Dobby Has No Master. Dobby Is A Free Elf!

Part 9: Who Am I? An Orphan Black Clone?

I’m not going to rate the different sites because it really depends on what you’re looking for when you use the apps. But, here are some thoughts on each of the dating sites/apps:

Tinder- most likely looking for a hookup, probably only a handful that are looking to meet someone to date long-term.

Bumble- similar to Tinder, but since it’s up to the girl to message first, not the best site for introverts or traditional girls who want guys to make the first move. I didn’t try the networking part of the app, but I did try the Friends version and sort of chatted with a few ladies, but didn’t make any new girlfriends.

POF- You are going to get messaged by a lot of creeps because you don’t have to swipe right on a guy for them to message you. Unless your settings are very restrictive so that only Upgraded members can message you, you will get gross and creepy messages. Then again, upgraded members can be just as bad as the rest. Be careful of catfish, use Google Reverse Image Search, it will be your best friend. It doesn’t pick up pictures if they were taken from an Instagram account, but at least you can find out if he took a stock image somewhere or if he’s using some famous guy’s pics.

OK Cupid- You’re probably using this because you’re a little more serious about meeting someone special (not just for a hookup). I guess the matching can help to find out if a potential match has the same values and thinks the same way you do. I didn’t really like the part where you choose from a drop-down menu to fill out your bio. I didn’t really like that if someone messaged you, you’d only see it when you come across their profile. Sometimes I missed the messages and then there’s no inbox to read them again.

Coffee Meets Bagel- Like I said in the previous post, you probably use this app if you’re a business professional and don’t have a lot of time to swipe through all the guys in your city. It helps narrow down the field for you and it lets you see who is already interested in getting to know you better.

I think if I had to choose the one dating app that I would use again, it would be Bumble. It has a slight edge over Tinder because I like the fact that the girl is the one who has to message first. Since you only have 24 hours to message them after matching and they have 24 hours to reply after you messaged them, then both parties are obviously interested if he replies. On Tinder, I got a few messages 2-3 days after matching with someone) and by that time, I was like meh, whatever (I already assumed he lost interest). I also liked that you could shake your phone and bring back a guy if you accidentally swiped left on him. Once your thumb gets into the motion of swiping left, you go faster and faster and sometimes you make a mistake.

I had a fun time trying out all the different apps and now I know which apps to try out if going out in the real world and trying to meet someone doesn’t work. So, although there were some sparks on Tinder, they fizzled out. I did NOT find the drone to my Queen Bee on Bumble, my lobster on POF, my everything bagel on Coffee Meets Bagel and Cupid must’ve missed when he shot his arrow on OK Cupid. Actually, everything bagel isn’t the best way to describe a potential boyfriend. I don’t even like everything bagels that much. I prefer Cheddar Herb bagels from Great Canadian bagels. I used to get them all the time in high school before they closed their store. Now, there are only a handful of locations and they all close pretty early…no wonder I’m still single. It’s so hard for me to find a BAGEL, never mind a BOYFRIEND. I do eat other bagels though, I’m not just always waiting around to get my cheddar herb bagel. I guess it’s a good analogy for dating; I need to try all these poppyseed, sesame, plain bagels (go on dates) to find that cheddar herb bagel out there.

If only there were some dating site where you go up to a counter and say,

Hi, one (man) to go, please. Between 5’7″ (so I can wear heels and he’ll still be taller) and 6″ (so he’s not too tall when I’m wearing flats). Enjoys watching movies and shows. Housebroken, wants children, non-smoker, doesn’t do drugs, and has all of the following *lists more characteristics and values*

Oh, and it would be a plus if he could pull off different looks: plain tee and jeans, a suit, leather jacket and if he looked good in aviators/wayfarer sunglasses, oh la la!! 😉

It’s not like I expect to marry the next guy I date, but it’s better if anyone I date wants children or is open to having children in the future. Why waste time dating someone who doesn’t want something you know you want? Even if he’s perfect in every other way, if there’s a non-negotiable, then why advance the relationship further?

In the last two installments of these dating chronicles, I’m going to share some of the funny thoughts I had while swiping and also give out some pointers (to the guys). Have a great weekend!

Click here for Part 11

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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“Dobby Has No Master, Dobby is a Free Elf” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 8

June 1, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Here’s the latest installment of my online dating chronicles. If you missed any of the previous installments, click below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Most messages that I got were nice messages; I even got a marriage proposal (probably a joke…I think). Out of the 1000 messages, less than 20 were gross, insulting or rude which I think is a pretty good record (98% were nice messages). This is part of what I wrote in my bio:

Probably one of the few girls out there that doesn’t really like flowers…I’d rather be given food 🙂 I love burgers! I may only be 5’3″, but my usual dinner order from A&W (one of my fave fast food places) is a mama burger, teen burger and sweet potato fries (oh, and can’t forget the chipotle mayo!).

One guy made me laugh and wrote, “You probably don’t share your burgers either.” That is correct, sir! Who shares burgers?? Unless you want to try two burgers and you share half of each. One time, after dinner, we went to Richtree Market for dessert and I said to my sister, “I’m too full for a crepe, wanna share two?” lol.

Another guy wrote that there was no way I could eat all of that. If only he knew. Here’s my dinner from the other day. I got two mamas because there was a coupon, but this is all miiiiine!!

Here was an exchange between me and another guy, we’ll call him Mr. Double Oh Zero:
- Him: You will likely be on pof for a long time. You read to be clinically insane. Chipotle mayo.
  - Lol, what’s he got against chipotle mayo?
- Me: Excuse me?!
- Him: You need to make your self description appealing rather than appalling. Just a suggestion
Well, Mr. Double Oh Zero, 999 other men seemed to like my profile, so I don’t have time for people who think I should be locked up in a mental hospital. Byeeee! BLOCKED. (I do applaud him for using ‘than’ instead of ‘then’). In his bio, he wrote that he liked Judge Judy- does he mean the show or the woman? He also wrote that it should be easy to meet people so there’s obviously something wrong with him and likely something wrong with you too. If all of his openers are like that, then I’m guessing he’ll “likely be on POF for a long time.”

For my profession, I put Blogger & Online Shop Owner. I rarely call someone this, but some asshole messaged me: What do you blog about? Being unemployed? What the actual eff? Was it supposed to be a joke? I see why, at 34, he’s divorced, and his longest relationship was under 1 year. I don’t really understand how he’s divorced and it was under a year. Who would have a whirlwind romance with this guy? He has a PhD which makes sense because he’s a Pretty Huge Dickhead.

There were a few messages saying they’d let me dominate them or they wanted to be my slave boy, but there were more men looking for a submissive and some who “like Asian girls.” Is it because I’m Asian that they think I would be a submissive? Well, then let me tell you, “Dobby has no Master. Dobby is a free elf.”

I was talking to this one guy (cute from his one profile pic) and we exchanged a few messages about likes and dislikes. He mentioned that he’s been asked some weird things and he doesn’t get why “people don’t just have a normal conversation” and that some didn’t even say ‘hi’ or ‘hello.” We were hitting it off talking about movies and shows and then out of the blue, he said he’s more of a dominant man type- very respectful, but likes to take charge behind closed doors. Well…we were having a normal conversation until you sprung that on me. That’s not to say that a guy who likes to be dominant isn’t normal or anything (you do your thing and I’ll do mine), but he just kind of sprung that on me after he said Westworld was good. It would have been better if he just opened with that instead of me wasting about 2 hours (on and off) of exchanging messages. Was he using those 2 hours to see if I was normal? It may have been a bit immature of me, but I blocked him right after that message. Yes, I could’ve just messaged him saying, “that’s not my thing” and hopefully that would’ve been the end of the exchange, but it was just easier to block him. He seemed nice enough and I hope he finds a girl who’s into that.

That concludes my fishing adventures, but come back for the next installment to read about my brief time on OKCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel.

Click here for Part 9!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy! | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 7

May 29, 2018

Hi Everyone!

Here’s Part 7 of my online dating chronicles!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

A while back, my sister and I were talking about something and she brought up something from Sesame Street. I never watched it when I was a kid, but she did and I was like what are you talking about? So, she found the video and showed me. Since I’m talking about Plenty of FISH, I thought it was funny to include. Ernie catches fish with his special fish call. He doesn’t need a fishing pole to reel in the fish, he just yells, “Heeere, fishy, fishy, fishy!” and they jump right into the boat.

A lot of guys had their bio blank and it said to just message them if you want to get to know them. I think you should at least put a few sentences in your bio because then a girl is just messaging you based on her attraction to you and not a mutual interest. You don’t have to put your whole life story, but put a hobby or two just to get a conversation going!

When I was researching POF, I looked up how many messages (on average) guys get each month. It’s hard to gauge since it depends on attractiveness and what’s in their bio, but I think guys are lucky if they receive 10 messages a month. Not a lot of girls make the first move. I messaged a few first and they replied back, but I may have scared some off by telling them I was doing a blog series on online dating. I wanted to be upfront about it because if there was any spark, I didn’t want them to think I was interested just for the blog post. It was a double-edged sword- if I didn’t tell them, they could possibly find out later on, but if I tell them right away, I scare them off. Oh well, if any of them had been the right guy, it wouldn’t have scared them off.

If you do message someone first, please make sure autocorrect hasn’t fixed anything. You want to make a good first impression, right? I got one message saying: Hi !!! You seem very amazing 🙂 I really want to kiss you under the stars sometime and hold your jams how’s that sound ? Hahahaha! Hold my jams??? I hope that was supposed to say hands.

I made first contact with one guy (his pic looked like some webcam pic and he was wearing a button-down shirt and tie). We were messaging back and forth and he asked if I had snapchat because he wanted to show me his body (umm, no thank you). I told him if he’s looking for a hookup, I’m not that type of girl and he said, “well this was a waste of time lol.” You and me both, buddy.

I caught a lot of fish like Ernie, but I had to throw a lot of them back into the water. I think online dating has its pros and cons. On a site like Plenty of Fish where it lists things like the highest level of education, if you have a car, if you’re ambitious, if you want children, you nitpick more than you might if you had met someone at work or through mutual friends. I found myself looking at profiles and saw that a lot of the guys had high school as their highest level of education. I know that tons of people are successful and didn’t attend college or university, but as someone who was lucky enough to attend and graduate from university, I would prefer to date someone who is also university or college educated. I don’t care whether he has a car or not. I don’t have a license, so taking the subway isn’t a problem. Quite a few of the guys chose Prefer Not to Say or Undecided on having children which is perfectly fine. They don’t want to tell all these random strangers if they want children. If someone chose Does Not Want Children, I instantly exited their profile; I know I want to have children, so why waste each other’s time?

Another thing is you’re basing your attraction to them based on their physical attractiveness. Some people aren’t photogenic. If you meet someone in person, your attraction to them can grow even if you don’t find them good looking. Maybe they’re funny and there’s that special something about them that makes them attractive. That can’t happen online- you just swipe left or don’t reply to their message if you don’t find them good looking. Unfortunately, I was guilty of doing this and I was more so doing this for research. As my mom said, you should try going out first before you skip to online dating which is true. What are the chances I’m like Rapunzel and my Flynn Rider will just pop up on my doorstep? Probably 0.000001% which means I need to leave the house more often. When our mailman rings the doorbell, I don’t even answer the door, so that percentage is probably even lower. People usually use online dating sites like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid as a last resort. I have to get outside more before I give online dating a real try.

In the next installment, more from my fishing adventures on Plenty of Fish!

Click here for Part 8!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.

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There’s Something Fishy Going On… | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 6

May 25, 2018
Hi Everyone!

I’m back with another installment of my online dating chronicles. If you missed a previous installment, click below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

I came across several catfish using pictures of a good looking model, a personal trainer, an actor, and a blogger. Some of the pictures, I have to admit, looked legit because they were blurry or it made sense based on their profession that they would have a professional picture. One guy messaged me and I actually thought his pics were real because he was a personal trainer (or that’s what it said in the Profession). It seemed plausible that the one professionally taken pic could be real and the other two pics he had were taken by him. I did a Google Reverse Image search as I was talking to him and a result came up on one of the pics. He had taken a personal trainer’s pics from his Instagram, I guess? The problem with Google Reverse Image is that Instagram pics don’t show up. I tried doing one of my Instagram pics that I’ve posted and nothing came up. He even mentioned that he wanted to take me out for dinner…what was his plan when I didn’t see the guy from the pics? Swoop in on a girl that’s just been stood up?

I wonder what reasons lead someone to catfish people? I’ve read stories about women who have been catfished for YEARS. If I was investing that much time in an online relationship, I would make sure he’s who he says he is by asking him to send me an unusual pic, i.e. send me a pic of you holding an apple in your left hand or holding up a sign with a random combo of letters/numbers.

These are the reasons I can think of that a person would catfish someone:
- Trying to trick some poor girl that they have something real with who they think is a tall, gorgeous guy
- Trying to get money
- For entertainment purposes
- Trying to get back at someone
- Practising talking to girls online and getting more confidence
- “Some men just want to watch the world burn” – haha, sorry, I had to put that quote from Alfred in The Dark Knight!
- This next one is very unlikely, but I’m sure it’s a possibility- he’s a serial killer and he’s using some guys pics to lure a girl to a restaurant and then when she shows up, he can kidnap her…am I just being paranoid? I think I watch too many crime shows. Thanks a lot, Criminal Minds.
I found an article saying that POF is the most dangerous dating site in Britain. It may be paranoid, but if you ever meet up with anyone in person, it’s always good to send his/her profile pics and bio to friends and let them know where you’re going and when you’re planning to be home. If the date is going well and you decide to stay out longer with him/her, send a text to your friend to let them know.

Some of the catfish were quite smart using pics of guys who aren’t too famous. This one guy used Nick Bateman’s pics (actor/model), Serkan Cayoglu’s pics (Turkish actor) and another used Adam Gallagher’s pics (blogger: I AM GALLA). One guy’s pics confused me: he had 2-3 pics of himself (or some guy) and then one of Joe Jonas. The pics below are not necessarily the ones used in the profile pics, but this is what the guys look like:

From left: Nick Bateman, Serkan Cayoglu, Adam Gallagher

I mean…why would any of them be on Plenty of Fish? Even if they were the shy, quiet type, tons of girls would be throwing themselves at them. If they’re looking for a hookup, I think Tinder would be a better app to use since you just swipe through the profiles. On POF, you’d have to go through the profiles and it’s a bit more time-consuming.

Similar to the swiping dating apps, POF does have that “Meet Me” feature where it’s similar to Tinder and you swipe ‘yes’ or ‘no’ if you want to meet someone. There’s four options: No, Maybe, Yes and Super Yes. Super Yes is like the Superlike or Daily Extend. It’s dumb though because if you choose ‘maybe,’ you would think it puts those guys onto a list for you and you can review them later. It doesn’t. It counts it as a ‘yes,’ so if you said maybe and the guy said yes/maybe, you get matched up. Like Tinder, there’s a tab (Mutual Match) that has a list of the people you matched with. The only problem with it is that you need to have an upgraded account to see the people who do want to Meet You. In your notifications, you can see a small thumbnail of their profile pic so you can keep an eye out when you’re swiping, but it’s not the best.

Another feature is the “Favorites” where someone can favourite your profile. It’s kind of funny because you can unfavourite yourself from their list. In a few guys’ bios, they wrote that if they ‘favourite’ you, it’s because he’s used his daily number of messages and can’t message you when he comes across your profile. I found out that there’s a daily limit to the number of first messages you can send in 24 hours. You can only send 55 first messages a day- if you’ve already messaged someone, there’s no limit. It’s only the first contact that is included in the 55.

In no way am I trying to brag and say, “This many men want to meet me or I got messaged by this number.” I want to let you know as a reference (and I’m rounding the numbers). By the time the 1000 men messaged me, it said that 2600 wanted to Meet Me. Percentage-wise, a third of the guys messaged me and it’s unknown how many of the 2600 were ones who also messaged me. So, what I’m saying is if you are on POF and you are interested in someone, then message them! The worst that can happen is they don’t reply or maybe block you, but you can still message 54 other people and one of them is bound to reply!

That’s all I have for today’s post. Thanks for reading and be sure to check out Part 7 on Tuesday!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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“How You Doin’?” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 5

May 22, 2018
Hi Everyone!

I’m back with another installment of my online dating chronicles!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Even though I was on Tinder and Bumble for two weeks and POF for only one, I obviously got more messages on POF because you don’t need to match to get a message. Like I said in Part 4, I had it set so that Males in Canada (aged 23-35) could message me. I received several messages as I was setting up my profile. I wrote a more lengthy ‘About Me’ and came up with a headline (a sentence to get people to click on your profile).

On a dating site set up like POF where anyone can message you (unless you have restrictions on your mail settings), you’ll obviously get a variety of messages: creepy ones, gross ones, funny ones, nice ones, sweet ones, etc.

I wrote that I loved action movies, liked burgers and that I’m probably one of the few girls who would prefer to be given food instead of flowers. A lot of the guys that messaged me were excited to find a girl who liked action movies. One said he had never met a girl who liked the Lord of the Rings trilogy and would never even consider watching the extended versions. I told him he wasn’t meeting the right girls lol. A few made a joke that they’d bring me a bouquet of burgers. It was cute when the first guy messaged me saying that, but then when several others said the same thing, it obviously wasn’t as funny/original.

There were a few lines that seemed original and were pretty funny, but I don’t want to ruin it for the guy if that’s his pick-up line for every girl he messages. Here are some of the funny/cheesy ones that aren’t exactly original (these are verbatim, so excuse the grammar and/or wording):
- Can I follow you? My mom told me to always follow my dreams.
- Excuse me, Mademoiselle, could you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in your eyes…
- There’s a strange feel in my stomach either I’m hungry or I’m in love and the only way to find out by asking you for lunch
One guy wrote ‘looking for committed girlfriend’ in his About Me. I laughed at it because it should probably say ‘committed relationship’ or ‘serious girlfriend.’ A ‘committed girlfriend’ makes me think he wants a girl from a psychiatric hospital. Another guy wrote that he liked my profile and I “sound like a really ‘cool girl’ if you know what I mean.” Why was ‘cool girl’ in quotes and why did he write ‘if you know what I mean?’ Well, I didn’t know what he meant, so I asked him and he said that he thought I sounded cool. I have no idea why he put it in quotes and said ‘if you know what I mean’…He could’ve just said “You sound like a cool girl.” *shrugs* moving on…

I got a few messages that I should’ve probably felt offended, but was flattered. One guy messaged me saying, “Hey, would you ever consider playing on cam for $? No offense intended.” It was gross, but I felt flattered that he wrote it. Another guy messaged me calling me a catfish and I messaged him back saying that I was real and he said he didn’t mean any offense by it. I felt flattered that he thought I would be a catfish. Either he liked my bio and thought it sounded good or liked my pics. Another guy, we’ll call him ~~Mr.~~ Captain Jack Sparrow. He said, “Reallyyy Jennifer? Your profile seems TOO good to be true so I think you should respond to me vs. the other 500 messages so that at least I can verify that you are real :p” I replied and we exchanged a few messages. He was a perfect gentleman and it proved to me that there are nice, not creepy, normal guys on POF- you just have to weed out the ones that are creeps and jerks.

After a few days, I decided to get rid of the age limitations and allow any age to message me. I wanted to see if guys a lot younger/older would message me. I waited until I received 1000 messages so I could get a proper sample size. The majority were closest to my age with a few here and there that were a lot younger or older. A few of the men had listed their age as 25 or something and then they’d put it in their About Me or in their first message that they were actually 40 or something. I assume it’s because most girls will probably set their age restrictions close to the age they are.

Using the 1000 messages, I took the time to sort the messages into two different categories. Based on approximate percentages, this was the break-down:
- 70% would say Hi, Hello, What’s Up, make a comment about my appearance (smile, eyes, attractiveness) or use a pick-up line
- 30% would make a direct reference to something in my About Me section or comment on one of my secondary pictures (proving that they looked at my other pictures and didn’t just message me after seeing the first one)
It was alarming how many of the guys wrote ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re.’ *face palm* It was flattering to get messages saying that I’m beautiful, but if you spelled it ‘your,’ it just made me cringe.

I am a fan of Friends (if that wasn’t evident by two of the titles for this blog series), so I thought it would be funny to write this in my bio:

Wanted: …non-smoker, non-ugly. ← If you know what that’s from, make a reference to the show 🙂

I wasn’t sure if everyone would get the reference, so I made it clear that it’s from a show and that I wasn’t the one saying it.

Here were some of the first messages I got:
- *looks down and up* How you doin’?
- “Could that BE any more obvious” jk lool (in chandlers voice in case that made no sense xD)
- “Could I be wearing any more clothes???”
Click here for Part 6!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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Dipping My Toe in the Water | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 4

May 18, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Have you missed previous installments of my online dating chronicles?

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Moving on from Tinder and Bumble, this post is mostly talking about the process of setting up a POF profile. I didn’t really talk about the process for Tinder and Bumble because it’s easy. You set it up with your Facebook account or email and then add pics, write a bio and you start swiping. On Plenty of Fish, it’s straightforward, but requires a bit more time setting it up. You don’t match with people and anyone can message you (unless your mail settings are restrictive). I set the mail settings so that only Men in Canada aged 23-35 could message me.

By the one week mark, I was on three dating sites and I came across several guys on multiple ones. I have a good memory, so I remembered their pictures. One guy said he was a surgeon on Bumble and was a Stock Trader on POF…hmmm, wonder which job is his actual occupation. Obviously, he was only on Bumble for hookups because then it’d be like in Sex and the City when Miranda said she was a flight attendant and she dated the ‘ER Doctor’ (played by Clark Gregg aka Agent Phil Coulson) and he was squeamish around the sight of her bleeding finger.

On Plenty of Fish, there’s a different process. Instead of just adding profile pics and a bio, you also fill in other things:
- hair colour, height, body type
- education, profession
- if you want children
- if you smoke, drink or do drugs
- religion
- if you have pets
- longest relationship you’ve had (under 1 year, over 1 year, over 2 years and so on)
The list goes on, but those are some of the things that are listed. Some of them had the option to choose “Prefer Not to Say.” I found this interesting especially when it was Prefer Not to Say Body Type or Children: Prefer Not to Say. These are kind of obvious because no one would choose “prefer not to say” if they didn’t have kids, so obviously a ‘prefer not to say’ has kids. As for body type, ‘prefer not to say’ probably means they have a few extra pounds. Or maybe it’s someone who’s actually ripped, but doesn’t want that to be the reason a guy/girl likes them. I found the ‘body type’ option kind of dumb to be honest because it’s subjective. A guy could list himself as ‘athletic,’ but there’s different types of athletic; think Ryan Gosling vs. Chris Hemsworth vs. The Rock. Also, depends on their height too. Personally, I prefer lean athletic because I’m a tiny, little woman and if a guy’s arm is bigger than my head that scares me. It was hard for me to choose a body type for myself because I’m petite, but it’s not like I’m in awesome shape- there are days where I’ve got a food baby and other days where the tummy is flat. I chose ‘Thin’ because athletic or average wouldn’t really be accurate.

It also asks you to choose your personality in one word from a drop-down list. There’s a lot of options including: Chef, adventurer, athletic, gamer, geek, homebody, hopeless romantic, fashionista, film/tv junkie, professional, night owl. I chose Film/TV junkie for myself.

It also asked you to choose your intent and these were the options:
- I want to date, but nothing serious
- I want a relationship
- I am putting serious effort into finding someone
- I am serious and want to find someone to marry
I wasn’t sure about the last option. I mean, it’s similar to putting in serious effort to find someone because you’d want to find someone to date which would lead to marriage. I mean, it’d be a good to date a few people before I find the person I end up with to see what’s out there, but I would be ready to get married if I found the right guy.

It was interesting because it also asked you to fill in other things that wouldn’t show up on your profile, but it would help you find people who you’d be a good fit. For example, it asked for your income and birth order (if you’re the oldest or youngest). It also asked if your birth parents are married, divorced, not together, one passed away or both passed away. It asked if you would date someone with kids or not and if you’d date someone who has a few extra pounds.

You also fill out a 70+ question personality test that measures your Self-Confidence, Family Orientation, Self-Control, Openness and Easygoingness. You can fill out other ones that measure your Relationship needs and other things.

Come back for the next installment to read some of the funny messages I got on POF.

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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It started one night at a bar named ‘Darling’… | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 1

May 8, 2018
Hi Everyone!

Today, I’m introducing a new blog series on Dating! I haven’t dated much, so it may seem weird that I would start a blog series on dating. I obviously can’t offer a lot of advice, but I recently decided to take the plunge and try online dating apps. So, I thought why not share my experiences and thoughts on online dating apps!

I’d like to mention that when I first started, I was kind of just having fun with it and then thought, ‘hey, this would be a good blog post or series!’ and then it spiraled from there. I decided to try more apps, do research and watch YouTube videos.

I tried five different apps just to see what each was like and how they were different. For each dating app, I’ll briefly tell you how it works, what type of info you share/fill in for the site, and what it was like. I’ll even share some of the funny messages I received. After I write about the different apps, I’ll let you know which ones were my faves to use, some advice for the men on what would make me swipe right or message back.

The five apps I tried are:
- Tinder (for 2 weeks)
- Bumble (for 2 weeks)
- Plenty of Fish (for 1 week)
- OK Cupid (for 2 days)
- Coffee Meets Bagel (for 1 day)
For OK Cupid and Coffee Meets Bagel, I just wanted to see how the process worked and how the set up was, so that’s the reason that I was only on for a day or two.

I’ve always wondered what it’s like on dating apps. Nowadays, it’s the norm to meet people on dating apps. In real life, there’s rarely a chance for a meet-cute (but every girl still dreams of the possibility). So, here’s the quick story of how I decided to join the first dating app:

A few of my other friends have used/use Tinder. So, when BM, KN and I went to Montreal (check out my blog posts on the food in Montreal), BM told me she was trying out Tinder for fun and I was like “I should try it.” Both of them agreed I should download the app…I didn’t. The next night, we went out for drinks at a bar named Darling and I had a few too many. KN said I should download the app and I said I would. She said “I don’t see you taking out your phone!” Maybe it was the red wine we drank before we left or the whiskey in the Supernova, but I whipped out my phone and downloaded the app. We also asked KN’s friend’s boyfriend what would make him swipe right on a girl. I handed them my phone and let them set it up for me. They wrote a short bio and started swiping. Apparently they swiped right on a bunch just to get some matches. They drunkenly exchanged a few messages with some of the matches.

Once I got my phone back, I started swiping for the rest of our trip. Since we were in Montreal, I didn’t swipe right on any guys because why bother when I’m leaving in a day? I was just having fun looking through photos and reading bios. Once I got home, I planned to swipe right on a bunch of guys to gather some stats because I had all these ideas for the blog series.

Click here to read Part 2! Find out if there were any sparks on Tinder!

Love,

*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.
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