Hi Everyone!
Here’s Part 7 of my online dating chronicles!
Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…
Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right
Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water
Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…
A while back, my sister and I were talking about something and she brought up something from Sesame Street. I never watched it when I was a kid, but she did and I was like what are you talking about? So, she found the video and showed me. Since I’m talking about Plenty of FISH, I thought it was funny to include. Ernie catches fish with his special fish call. He doesn’t need a fishing pole to reel in the fish, he just yells, “Heeere, fishy, fishy, fishy!” and they jump right into the boat.
A lot of guys had their bio blank and it said to just message them if you want to get to know them. I think you should at least put a few sentences in your bio because then a girl is just messaging you based on her attraction to you and not a mutual interest. You don’t have to put your whole life story, but put a hobby or two just to get a conversation going!
When I was researching POF, I looked up how many messages (on average) guys get each month. It’s hard to gauge since it depends on attractiveness and what’s in their bio, but I think guys are lucky if they receive 10 messages a month. Not a lot of girls make the first move. I messaged a few first and they replied back, but I may have scared some off by telling them I was doing a blog series on online dating. I wanted to be upfront about it because if there was any spark, I didn’t want them to think I was interested just for the blog post. It was a double-edged sword- if I didn’t tell them, they could possibly find out later on, but if I tell them right away, I scare them off. Oh well, if any of them had been the right guy, it wouldn’t have scared them off.
If you do message someone first, please make sure autocorrect hasn’t fixed anything. You want to make a good first impression, right? I got one message saying: Hi !!! You seem very amazing 🙂 I really want to kiss you under the stars sometime and hold your jams how’s that sound ? Hahahaha! Hold my jams??? I hope that was supposed to say hands.
I made first contact with one guy (his pic looked like some webcam pic and he was wearing a button-down shirt and tie). We were messaging back and forth and he asked if I had snapchat because he wanted to show me his body (umm, no thank you). I told him if he’s looking for a hookup, I’m not that type of girl and he said, “well this was a waste of time lol.” You and me both, buddy.
I caught a lot of fish like Ernie, but I had to throw a lot of them back into the water. I think online dating has its pros and cons. On a site like Plenty of Fish where it lists things like the highest level of education, if you have a car, if you’re ambitious, if you want children, you nitpick more than you might if you had met someone at work or through mutual friends. I found myself looking at profiles and saw that a lot of the guys had high school as their highest level of education. I know that tons of people are successful and didn’t attend college or university, but as someone who was lucky enough to attend and graduate from university, I would prefer to date someone who is also university or college educated. I don’t care whether he has a car or not. I don’t have a license, so taking the subway isn’t a problem. Quite a few of the guys chose Prefer Not to Say or Undecided on having children which is perfectly fine. They don’t want to tell all these random strangers if they want children. If someone chose Does Not Want Children, I instantly exited their profile; I know I want to have children, so why waste each other’s time?
Another thing is you’re basing your attraction to them based on their physical attractiveness. Some people aren’t photogenic. If you meet someone in person, your attraction to them can grow even if you don’t find them good looking. Maybe they’re funny and there’s that special something about them that makes them attractive. That can’t happen online- you just swipe left or don’t reply to their message if you don’t find them good looking. Unfortunately, I was guilty of doing this and I was more so doing this for research. As my mom said, you should try going out first before you skip to online dating which is true. What are the chances I’m like Rapunzel and my Flynn Rider will just pop up on my doorstep? Probably 0.000001% which means I need to leave the house more often. When our mailman rings the doorbell, I don’t even answer the door, so that percentage is probably even lower. People usually use online dating sites like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid as a last resort. I have to get outside more before I give online dating a real try.
In the next installment, more from my fishing adventures on Plenty of Fish!
Love,
*This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.